4 ms·

I wasn't going to jump into this thread and I don't want to turn this into "Relationship News" but, I feel like I need to let you know. I grew up with divorced

I wasn't going to jump into this thread and I don't want to turn this into "Relationship News" but, I feel like I need to let you know. I grew up with divorced parents who were together longer than they should've been and let me tell you, kids know. They absolutely know when their parents are together but can't stand each other and what's worse, they may assume it's their fault.

scrollaway 6y ago
Seconding. Furthermore, please don't feel like you gotta stay together "for the kid". At least ask the kid whether they care. My parents asked me. I told them I didn't care.
- giantg2 6y ago
  The kid is 2, so they don't really know.
  - atat7024 6y ago
    Hopefully for them you've sorted this one way or another in the next year or so. Kids are more perceptive than anyone gives them credit for.
  - random314 6y ago
    Looks like you are less than 10 years into the marriage. Get out ASAP. You are stuck with alimony for basically half the length of your marriage. Unless it exceeds 10 years. Then you are stuck for life.
    - giantg2 6y ago
      I think that varies by state.
      - atat7024 6y ago
        Know, soon.
      - elyobo 6y ago
        Wow, those are some crazy laws. Child support is mandatory around here, and follows well defined rules, but spousal support ("alimony") is much less well defined and (in my limited understanding) less common and shorter lived. Edit: "around here" being Australia and New Zealand
thedevelopnik 6y ago
And to support you but from the other side: I grew up with parents who divorced when I was 18 months old when it became clear they did not love each other anymore. But they both wanted the best for me, and didn't do the petty shit I've heard about other couples where they shit-talked each other to the kid or something. They split time with me evenly. They both eventually got re-married and are very happy and I have no regrets about how my childhood went in that regard.

scrollaway 6y ago

Seconding. Furthermore, please don't feel like you gotta stay together "for the kid". At least ask the kid whether they care. My parents asked me. I told them I didn't care.

giantg2 6y ago
The kid is 2, so they don't really know.
- atat7024 6y ago
  Hopefully for them you've sorted this one way or another in the next year or so. Kids are more perceptive than anyone gives them credit for.
- random314 6y ago
  Looks like you are less than 10 years into the marriage. Get out ASAP. You are stuck with alimony for basically half the length of your marriage. Unless it exceeds 10 years. Then you are stuck for life.
  - giantg2 6y ago
    I think that varies by state.
    - atat7024 6y ago
      Know, soon.
    - elyobo 6y ago
      Wow, those are some crazy laws. Child support is mandatory around here, and follows well defined rules, but spousal support ("alimony") is much less well defined and (in my limited understanding) less common and shorter lived. Edit: "around here" being Australia and New Zealand

thedevelopnik 6y ago

And to support you but from the other side: I grew up with parents who divorced when I was 18 months old when it became clear they did not love each other anymore. But they both wanted the best for me, and didn't do the petty shit I've heard about other couples where they shit-talked each other to the kid or something. They split time with me evenly. They both eventually got re-married and are very happy and I have no regrets about how my childhood went in that regard.