Not intensely depressed, though I am still heaming trauma. From my teens to mid thirties, I often stayed up very late well until 4 am. Usually I’d find it very

Not intensely depressed, though I am still heaming trauma. From my teens to mid thirties, I often stayed up very late well until 4 am. Usually I’d find it very difficult to restore my sleeping hours so I would keep shifting forward, like sleeping at 11am, getting up at 8pm... until i was again up at like 5 am... then i managed normal waking hours for a few weeks and the cycle would repeat. In hindsight I always felt safer at night. When the world seems to be asleep, i felt less pressure, it was quiet... I also remember when staying awake longer or sleeping a few hours, it was pleasant in some ways, i didn’t feel as anxious, like sailing on a cloud. The research doesn’t surprise me but sadly it is always a clinical perspective. These people are not genuinely cured of "depression" whatever is the clinical description. We know a lot more about the physiology of trauma these days, and there is almost always some type of trauma involved, meaning an experience of physical / emotional overwhelm, and a nervous system that never quite returned to normal. Usually there is a history of developmental trauma and / or tramatic events like violence, or serious accidents. Sometimes a stay in hospital can be traumatic as well, invasive procedures, lack of connection, etc.