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I've had panic attacks during loosely-structured periods in my life where sitting in the shower after waking up in the morning and having to decide what to do w

I've had panic attacks during loosely-structured periods in my life where sitting in the shower after waking up in the morning and having to decide what to do with that day was absolutely overwhelming. Sometimes when you have a lot going on and you're under a lot of stress there's a lot of pressure associated with deciding how best to allocate your time. In contrast, I find a relative peace at 3am, since it's merely a continuation of what I had been doing earlier that day. I'm in a groove, and there's no major decisions to make regarding my resource allocation. Waking up is absolutely one of my least favorite parts of the day. It comes with a tremendous burden, especially when living alone and not having a fixed schedule or a boss.

tarsinge 6y ago
I’m glad if you feel better know. It’s interesting to know oneself because I have exactly the opposite experience. The more the day pass the more I am stressed, with sometimes panic attacks before sleep. I feel refreshed in the morning, the best part of the day for me. The exception is when I have a fixed schedule, a boss (also a long commute and a job I don’t like), then sure I don’t like waking up, because I know exactly what the day will be without surprise and it’s shitty.
- phobosanomaly 6y ago
  Out of curiosity, what is it that gets you before you go to sleep? What is running through your mind when you experience the panic attack? (I mean, not specifics, but in a general sense.)
  - tarsinge 6y ago
    I think it’s general anxiety from the accumulated “thinking fatigue” during the day. There is a correlation with periods where I lacked a clear plan and spent too much time of the day in my thought planning the future. The process at sleep then is something like I feel tense -> I become hypersensible -> I notice each heartbeat accelerating -> maybe something is wrong -> ... Sometimes it was more sudden like waking up panicked in the middle of the night. Meditation helped because now I notice when I loose myself too much in my thought. The effect is not immediate but it makes a difference at the end of the day.

tarsinge 6y ago

I’m glad if you feel better know. It’s interesting to know oneself because I have exactly the opposite experience. The more the day pass the more I am stressed, with sometimes panic attacks before sleep. I feel refreshed in the morning, the best part of the day for me. The exception is when I have a fixed schedule, a boss (also a long commute and a job I don’t like), then sure I don’t like waking up, because I know exactly what the day will be without surprise and it’s shitty.

phobosanomaly 6y ago
Out of curiosity, what is it that gets you before you go to sleep? What is running through your mind when you experience the panic attack? (I mean, not specifics, but in a general sense.)
- tarsinge 6y ago
  I think it’s general anxiety from the accumulated “thinking fatigue” during the day. There is a correlation with periods where I lacked a clear plan and spent too much time of the day in my thought planning the future. The process at sleep then is something like I feel tense -> I become hypersensible -> I notice each heartbeat accelerating -> maybe something is wrong -> ... Sometimes it was more sudden like waking up panicked in the middle of the night. Meditation helped because now I notice when I loose myself too much in my thought. The effect is not immediate but it makes a difference at the end of the day.