That this behavior is called "SmoothScroll" is what pushes it over the boundary for me firmly into self-satire (and so I am in stitches playing from laughing so

That this behavior is called "SmoothScroll" is what pushes it over the boundary for me firmly into self-satire (and so I am in stitches playing from laughing so hard at your great description and then experiencing the actual behavior); who writes these scripts, and why? :(