You sound like me there buddy. Blue collar upbringing and got into tech. The culture shock is weird and off putting. Never seem to fit in either I take it? You

You sound like me there buddy. Blue collar upbringing and got into tech. The culture shock is weird and off putting. Never seem to fit in either I take it? You have the leg up on me with that whole college thing. I cant advocate for sticking around salarymen. Never worked for me. Maybe for you with some changes, but that's beyond me. My advice, quit "freelancing" and start "contracting". Pretty much, start a firm. It's a bigger mental shift than you may expect. This is how you get the bigger projects and big career gains. You find a lot of interesting and good relationships in the business that way. Also, there are a lot more blue collar types who own/run mid to large companies than you might imagine. I was surprised for sure, I can say that much at least. If you dont want to take that big of a step, try partnering with complimentary firms as a contractor. I used to work with 2 different design firms along with a few small clients of my own. Approach them casually about what you can offer and if a project arises, you'll be glad to give a quote. Last thing that worked for me, but I didnt pursue as much as I should have was independent products. Build your own software or some product to sell. It does become a job in it's own right, but it's on your terms, not someone elses. Essentially, I dont think you'll be happy trying to identify as a salaryman programmer, which is what the industry is forcing you into. Your job doesn't define you, which is good, but you're in the wrong positioning if you think working for someone else will agree with your philosophy. You need to start striking out on your own and do you're own thing to find any form of life work balance. What also helps, do dev outside of the tech industry. Buddy and I got into concrete and I'm the tech and research side of the company. I'm happy with what I do and know very well I'd be miserable in the tech industry, because I already tried it.