As a fellow LGBTQ I'm surprised you feel held back by passing as a 'regular dude'. Though it sounds like you work at a bigger company with actual diversity init

As a fellow LGBTQ I'm surprised you feel held back by passing as a 'regular dude'. Though it sounds like you work at a bigger company with actual diversity initiatives? My experience is with smaller companies, with no such efforts. Ironically I find them to be quite meritocratic and fair to everyone regardless how they identify or present. But in any case, I do hear you and I'm sorry that you need to play a certain role in order to advance there. If you're like me you've done enough negotiating, questioning, doubting yourself, you don't want to have to open that back up and possibly transgress the boundaries you've set in order to play the game. I'm honestly not sure what to say. In corporate America I think we all have to play the game to an extent, identity notwithstanding. Maybe look at a smaller company, and also don't pin your self-worth to what happens in your career. You are so much more than that. Also, I'm curious if you find this experience to be as potent when working remotely (assuming you do/did?). I find that levels the playing field in a certain way, because I can let go of certain expectations on appearance/behavior and just truly be myself behind a computer screen.