Regarding the feeling offended to hearing "no", I think this has little to do with researchers/academics and more to do with managers and people who have to do

Regarding the feeling offended to hearing "no", I think this has little to do with researchers/academics and more to do with managers and people who have to do it. Generally, I would argue most researchers are very similar to what you attribute to engineers, e.g. they often answer "no" first (I have heard that commented on by outside observers multiple times). In fact researchers (academic or otherwise) are trained to find flaws in systems quickly, which typically involves saying "no that doesn't work because ...". The flip side of the coin is that managers (and Professors or group leaders are essentially managers) don't like to be told that something can't be done. Especially if it was their idea. This is the same in many industry settings. So they really dislike to be told "no". The irony is that at some point in the transition from researcher in the trenches (PhD, postdoc ...) to Professor/group leader many start to think that the PhD students/postdocs say know because they don't want to do the work. It's really weird, because pretty much everyone who is in academia is strongly self-motivated as they should know from their own experience.