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> I was reading comments in another HN thread, and one poster suggested that this might arise from raising kids without bullying. Like the immune system, if we

> I was reading comments in another HN thread, and one poster suggested that this might arise from raising kids without bullying. Like the immune system, if we don't develop a central tolerance, perhaps we start attacking everything we find unpleasant? No basis in behavioral science, of course. Forget basis in behavioral science, this has no basis in anything, and you’re deluded if you think kids aren’t still bullied today. What a trash take.

the-dude 6y ago
The environment is profoundly different today than say, 40 years ago. Being different is much easier today. I was seduced by my parents to join a Judo club so I could stand up to myself ( this works wonders ). Last year, I confronted a new millenial neighbour of mine repeatedly on her behaviour of biking on the sidewalk. The biggest problem was she was doing blind corners as well. There are small children here playing, we have elderly with walking aids. It was dangerous. She called the police on me.
- hutzlibu 6y ago
  So with your martial arts training you confronted your neighbour - and she called the police? Well, maybe you should try talking calmly next time, then maybe others feel not threatened enough to call the police. Otherwise you have the right to call the police if she insists on being a threat to the children around.
  - Daho0n 6y ago
    A confrontation with "martial arts training" is being mindful and resting in yourself. You try to make it sound like it is behaving aggressively and ready for violence. That's the opposite of what you learn and the risk of someone behaving like this is way higher in those without martial arts training. Besides, I bet you are fully aware that the point GP was making was that his training made him dare say something where he before wouldn't.
    - hutzlibu 6y ago
      I train martial arts since being a small boy and no one ever called the police because of me. So I am not sure about that: "Besides, I bet you are fully aware that the point GP was making was that his training made him dare say something where he before wouldn't. " And I know a lot of people, bolstering their martial arts skills to impress and supress people. Once or twice I had to restrain some. Still - repeatedly engaged talking to someone who don't wants to be talked with - can be defined as harrasment either way. And close to self justice in this case. I know the urge for it sometimes. But .. that just means trouble. (side note: Judo is not very effective as self defence)
- minitech 6y ago
  Setting aside the issue of whether inconsiderate use of vehicles is a newly millennial phenomenon for the moment and considering what this is in reply to: are you saying that the situation could have been avoided if your neighbour had been bullied enough as a child?
  - the-dude 6y ago
    No, I am saying it seems like some millenials seem unaware of the possible consequences of their behaviour to others and to themselves. And if there is a confrontation, they'll report you to their teacher ( police ). While when I grew up, when I misbehaved in traffic, say concerning a taxi(cab), the driver would stop, make his opinion loudly heard, perhaps accompanied by a threat of violence ( this actually happened ). But now we are in a situation where neighbours can not confront each other anymore, and the preferred course of action is a mediator ( teacher / police ).
    - gjulianm 6y ago
      I think everyone here is better off by not drawing broad conclusions about behavior based on anecdotes. I am sure that a lot of people born in the 50s and 60s would have called the police in the same situation you describe. > No, I am saying it seems like some millenials seem unaware of the possible consequences of their behaviour to others and to themselves. Yes, this happens with every generation. Now what does that have to do with the idea that "bullying made society better"? I mean, you know that quite a lot of people have serious psychological consequences from bullying, some people have even killed themselves, right? It's not something to joke about, and if (and that's a big if) the price to pay to stop bullying is having someone call the police on a discussion, I would gladly pay it a hundred times over.
    - ganafagol 6y ago
      So instead of calling a mediator you would have preferred if she had taken matters in her own hands and tried to beat you up? Upon which you'd have hit back in self defense? Of course that's not what you mean. I suppose you mean that instead of crying for help from the teacher she should have just swallowed it up and obeyed you. But it goes both ways. Imagine you had a teenage daughter and she'd be accused of something, in her mind unrightfully, by some asshole neighbor. Would you like her to just swallow it up and do what he says? Or fight back, risking injury? Or call a mediator? That's the point of view of your neighbor. If anything growing up with bullies teaches is that in the long run, only standing up to them works. But that's not what you'd actually how you'd have liked your millenial neighbor to react to you. (I'm not saying you are the bully here. I'm totally with you on calling her out. But your "growing up with bullies" analogy is way off here and you need to consider all sides before drawing broad conclusions.)
- tcbawo 6y ago
  When the police came, what happened?
  - the-dude 6y ago
    If you don't have an appointment, I don't answer the door. I was not called into the bureau.
sparkling 6y ago
Prime example right here of ignoring everything he said due to one bad (but well intended) analogy. This is exactly the problem he is talking about.
AYBABTME 6y ago
> What a trash take. You can disagree without coming down to this.

the-dude 6y ago

The environment is profoundly different today than say, 40 years ago. Being different is much easier today. I was seduced by my parents to join a Judo club so I could stand up to myself ( this works wonders ). Last year, I confronted a new millenial neighbour of mine repeatedly on her behaviour of biking on the sidewalk. The biggest problem was she was doing blind corners as well. There are small children here playing, we have elderly with walking aids. It was dangerous. She called the police on me.

hutzlibu 6y ago
So with your martial arts training you confronted your neighbour - and she called the police? Well, maybe you should try talking calmly next time, then maybe others feel not threatened enough to call the police. Otherwise you have the right to call the police if she insists on being a threat to the children around.
- Daho0n 6y ago
  A confrontation with "martial arts training" is being mindful and resting in yourself. You try to make it sound like it is behaving aggressively and ready for violence. That's the opposite of what you learn and the risk of someone behaving like this is way higher in those without martial arts training. Besides, I bet you are fully aware that the point GP was making was that his training made him dare say something where he before wouldn't.
  - hutzlibu 6y ago
    I train martial arts since being a small boy and no one ever called the police because of me. So I am not sure about that: "Besides, I bet you are fully aware that the point GP was making was that his training made him dare say something where he before wouldn't. " And I know a lot of people, bolstering their martial arts skills to impress and supress people. Once or twice I had to restrain some. Still - repeatedly engaged talking to someone who don't wants to be talked with - can be defined as harrasment either way. And close to self justice in this case. I know the urge for it sometimes. But .. that just means trouble. (side note: Judo is not very effective as self defence)
minitech 6y ago
Setting aside the issue of whether inconsiderate use of vehicles is a newly millennial phenomenon for the moment and considering what this is in reply to: are you saying that the situation could have been avoided if your neighbour had been bullied enough as a child?
- the-dude 6y ago
  No, I am saying it seems like some millenials seem unaware of the possible consequences of their behaviour to others and to themselves. And if there is a confrontation, they'll report you to their teacher ( police ). While when I grew up, when I misbehaved in traffic, say concerning a taxi(cab), the driver would stop, make his opinion loudly heard, perhaps accompanied by a threat of violence ( this actually happened ). But now we are in a situation where neighbours can not confront each other anymore, and the preferred course of action is a mediator ( teacher / police ).
  - gjulianm 6y ago
    I think everyone here is better off by not drawing broad conclusions about behavior based on anecdotes. I am sure that a lot of people born in the 50s and 60s would have called the police in the same situation you describe. > No, I am saying it seems like some millenials seem unaware of the possible consequences of their behaviour to others and to themselves. Yes, this happens with every generation. Now what does that have to do with the idea that "bullying made society better"? I mean, you know that quite a lot of people have serious psychological consequences from bullying, some people have even killed themselves, right? It's not something to joke about, and if (and that's a big if) the price to pay to stop bullying is having someone call the police on a discussion, I would gladly pay it a hundred times over.
  - ganafagol 6y ago
    So instead of calling a mediator you would have preferred if she had taken matters in her own hands and tried to beat you up? Upon which you'd have hit back in self defense? Of course that's not what you mean. I suppose you mean that instead of crying for help from the teacher she should have just swallowed it up and obeyed you. But it goes both ways. Imagine you had a teenage daughter and she'd be accused of something, in her mind unrightfully, by some asshole neighbor. Would you like her to just swallow it up and do what he says? Or fight back, risking injury? Or call a mediator? That's the point of view of your neighbor. If anything growing up with bullies teaches is that in the long run, only standing up to them works. But that's not what you'd actually how you'd have liked your millenial neighbor to react to you. (I'm not saying you are the bully here. I'm totally with you on calling her out. But your "growing up with bullies" analogy is way off here and you need to consider all sides before drawing broad conclusions.)
tcbawo 6y ago
When the police came, what happened?
- the-dude 6y ago
  If you don't have an appointment, I don't answer the door. I was not called into the bureau.

sparkling 6y ago

Prime example right here of ignoring everything he said due to one bad (but well intended) analogy. This is exactly the problem he is talking about.

AYBABTME 6y ago

> What a trash take. You can disagree without coming down to this.