Fascinating read! I really wanted to try this until I got to this part. A humorous research paper from 1989 gathered together some classic put-downs, including

Fascinating read! I really wanted to try this until I got to this part. A humorous research paper from 1989 gathered together some classic put-downs, including "At best, it is only one degree better than a rotten apple" – from a 19th Century gardening book – and "the medlar is not… worth a turd until it's ripe, and then it tastes like shit" – reportedly the opinion of an anonymous medieval author.