6 ms·

Not sleeping with more women. When I was younger, women were more plentiful (and looking for relationships) but I spent most of my time in front of computers.

by babul 18y ago

Not sleeping with more women. When I was younger, women were more plentiful (and looking for relationships) but I spent most of my time in front of computers. Today, computers are more plentiful and most of the nice women I meet are already married or in long term relationships.

time_management 18y ago
I could understand if your regret were not dating, but is your only regret a lack of sex? The "nice women" would be averse to marrying you if your number got too high. From the perspective of a marriage-worthy woman, it's fine to be a virgin till 23-25, and the ideal number for a 30-year-old male is probably 1-6. How old are you? It seems that the odds get better for a guy until age 35. When you're 20, the age range of women you'll be able to date is very limited: approximately 18-21. When you're 35, it's 23-40. Gender ratios also improve (from a male perspective) dramatically as you age, with noticeable effects in dating. I'm 25 and loving it; I definitely don't miss being an acne-pwned, insecure 19-year-old. Also, if you're looking for marriage-worthy women, have you considered moving abroad? The only reason I still live in the US is that New York is very, very international. I would not be able to stand it if the only women available for dating were white, suburban Americans.
- HeyLaughingBoy 18y ago
  Wow, what a difference in perspective. I couldn't imagine wanting to marry a woman who even cared about the number of women I've slept with. My wife and I were both very "friendly" before we met each other and neither of us has ever even bothered to ask the other how many people we've slept with. It simply doesn't matter to me. I wonder what your criteria for "marriage-worthy woman" is.
- menloparkbum 18y ago
  It's unclear why living abroad would do much to broaden one's dating gene pool. Certainly you can avoid white, suburban Americans in Japan, but good luck meeting someone who isn't Japanese. Outside of the USA and Canada most countries are very monocultural. For example, if you are moving to Sweden for dating purposes you should be sure you are into Swedish people before you go. It is far easier to date outside your race/culture in the USA. I'm white, and haven't dated a white person since I was in high school. In regards to your ideal number, 6 at age 30 would be a minimum. Lower than that and your potential dates will wonder what's wrong with you.
- babul 18y ago
  Being 25-30 I have yet to see this trend :( and don’t see many of the people I know with partners more than ±4yrs their age. Moving may solve the problems related to geography, but perhaps not those of culture and lifestyle which often form a larger part of the problem people face. As addressed by others, going to another country may not help any more than simply going to a larger more cosmopolitan city. But even in big cities (London, Paris, New York etc.) it is still possible to be single/lonely, as many are. I think only big changes in lifestyle really solve much of the dilemma such people face. Lastly, as we get older, we all start to look at people more as future partners even from the outset. This becomes harder as, using nature as an example, it is probably fair to say that the most desirable mates are taken early. Hence those that leave things until later e.g. to focus on career etc., often find things harder and (I dare say) have to settle for less or compromise more. This seems especially true for women who feel their biological clock is ticking and develop the nesting instincts. I suspect this is one of the reasons that in a generally declining/competitive online dating market the sites focused towards marriage in the niches e.g. Jewish/Muslim/Christian matrimonial sites, do well compared to the rest. Anyway, I am building a dating site to address some of the problems I see and welcome comments/suggestions/ideas of others (your experiences, what you see is broken, solutions). You can contact me at babulmiah{.a.t.]yahoo<,d,o,t,)com. Hopefully, I’ll launch an alpha for HN review soon.
pgebhard 18y ago
I just modded you up, but as I think about it more, I realize that had I been more promiscuous, I may have passed over (or slept with but not stayed with) the girl I am with now in a long-term (long-distance, unfortunately) relationship and I feel that I can spend the rest of my life with her.

by babul 18y ago

time_management 18y ago

I could understand if your regret were not dating, but is your only regret a lack of sex? The "nice women" would be averse to marrying you if your number got too high. From the perspective of a marriage-worthy woman, it's fine to be a virgin till 23-25, and the ideal number for a 30-year-old male is probably 1-6. How old are you? It seems that the odds get better for a guy until age 35. When you're 20, the age range of women you'll be able to date is very limited: approximately 18-21. When you're 35, it's 23-40. Gender ratios also improve (from a male perspective) dramatically as you age, with noticeable effects in dating. I'm 25 and loving it; I definitely don't miss being an acne-pwned, insecure 19-year-old. Also, if you're looking for marriage-worthy women, have you considered moving abroad? The only reason I still live in the US is that New York is very, very international. I would not be able to stand it if the only women available for dating were white, suburban Americans.

HeyLaughingBoy 18y ago
Wow, what a difference in perspective. I couldn't imagine wanting to marry a woman who even cared about the number of women I've slept with. My wife and I were both very "friendly" before we met each other and neither of us has ever even bothered to ask the other how many people we've slept with. It simply doesn't matter to me. I wonder what your criteria for "marriage-worthy woman" is.
menloparkbum 18y ago
It's unclear why living abroad would do much to broaden one's dating gene pool. Certainly you can avoid white, suburban Americans in Japan, but good luck meeting someone who isn't Japanese. Outside of the USA and Canada most countries are very monocultural. For example, if you are moving to Sweden for dating purposes you should be sure you are into Swedish people before you go. It is far easier to date outside your race/culture in the USA. I'm white, and haven't dated a white person since I was in high school. In regards to your ideal number, 6 at age 30 would be a minimum. Lower than that and your potential dates will wonder what's wrong with you.
babul 18y ago
Being 25-30 I have yet to see this trend :( and don’t see many of the people I know with partners more than ±4yrs their age. Moving may solve the problems related to geography, but perhaps not those of culture and lifestyle which often form a larger part of the problem people face. As addressed by others, going to another country may not help any more than simply going to a larger more cosmopolitan city. But even in big cities (London, Paris, New York etc.) it is still possible to be single/lonely, as many are. I think only big changes in lifestyle really solve much of the dilemma such people face. Lastly, as we get older, we all start to look at people more as future partners even from the outset. This becomes harder as, using nature as an example, it is probably fair to say that the most desirable mates are taken early. Hence those that leave things until later e.g. to focus on career etc., often find things harder and (I dare say) have to settle for less or compromise more. This seems especially true for women who feel their biological clock is ticking and develop the nesting instincts. I suspect this is one of the reasons that in a generally declining/competitive online dating market the sites focused towards marriage in the niches e.g. Jewish/Muslim/Christian matrimonial sites, do well compared to the rest. Anyway, I am building a dating site to address some of the problems I see and welcome comments/suggestions/ideas of others (your experiences, what you see is broken, solutions). You can contact me at babulmiah{.a.t.]yahoo<,d,o,t,)com. Hopefully, I’ll launch an alpha for HN review soon.

pgebhard 18y ago

I just modded you up, but as I think about it more, I realize that had I been more promiscuous, I may have passed over (or slept with but not stayed with) the girl I am with now in a long-term (long-distance, unfortunately) relationship and I feel that I can spend the rest of my life with her.