4 ms·
I have to agree with some other commenters that although this article is accurate enough, it establishes a view of introversion that's so rigidly determined, so
by crux 15y ago
I have to agree with some other commenters that although this article is accurate enough, it establishes a view of introversion that's so rigidly determined, so reified, and so self-perpetuating and self-justifying that I find it hard to recognize and certainly hard to endorse as a lifestyle. The personality type and lifestyle here is a sort of baseline tendency for introverts (like myself), but there's so much more leeway and growth possible within the most introverted soul that it makes me a little sad to see something so pat about these tendencies (and the whole dopamine thing—well, let's just say I Am Not A Neuroscientist but I suspect that Dr. Laney isn't one either).
A couple commenters have suggested that instead of wholly embracing these practices—especially the ones about being rude to people—it's advantageous, for job purposes, to meet women, to learn to at least put up with talking to other people. To be honest it's been kind of entertaining to hear from introverts who view the great extroverted mob like an enemy camp, to be infiltrated—at great personal expense, but to great personal reward—by learning to mimic their ways.
I want to suggest that it's possible to actually learn to enjoy being social and meeting people. You know, for its own sake. While it's true that eventually one will find that they might need to make relationships with other people so they can do camping trips and get laid and such, I have found that actually humanizing people, rather than treating them as ends to means, is more satisfying and healthy in the long run. Further, while it's nice to try to maintain a few close relationships, I think it's more satisfying and healthy to learn to get beyond a simplistic superficial/real binary with your human relationships—and by extension, with other people.
There are lots of ways to be introverted without seeing nearly the whole raft of humanity as psychic vampires, or insensitive extroverts, or simply resource repositories that you need to interact with. If you treat a work relationship or a bank teller with this attitude of, 'I'm not interested in superficial small talk. You only exist to me for the purposes of sending and receiving information or resources', you will not ONLY be alone when you want to go camping, but you will also be spiritually and emotionally impoverished.
The good news is, it IS possible to learn to enjoy talking with other people, even if it's ultimately tiring. I mean, most things in life are tiring. That's the nature of energy—we spend it on doing things. But you can be mindful of your energy level (and I might suggest, blood sugar) without having to abstain from all human contact. In fact, you can even enjoy human contact. The last 8 or so years of my life has been in a large part about learning to enjoy human contact—and I've learned to enjoy it by learning to be _good_ at it. I am now, I am glad to say, a pretty charming guy. I tell good stories, I meet people well, I dress well, I make a good impression. This means that I don't have trouble meeting women or finding partners for the activities that I like, but it also means that I derive actual satisfaction from the practice of social skills. I like exercising my expertise, like most people, and I like the rewards I get—social reinforcement, positive feedback, that sort of thing. And I think that's been the key for me. I didn't decide to embark on a project of self-improvement and socialization because it was necessary for my eventual professional success. I learned to get off on doing a good job at social behavior. Introvert or not, it still _feels good_ to be a charming, likeable person. It just means I take a nap afterwards.