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Another nightmare is needing your boss' help & not getting it because your boss simply chooses not to help. Early in my dev career I ended up w/ an smart, unhe

Another nightmare is needing your boss' help & not getting it because your boss simply chooses not to help. Early in my dev career I ended up w/ an smart, unhelpful manager. They were the only person in the company w/ Scala experience, and I needed to touch a Scala service as a fairly green developer. I asked my boss for help, and was denied. I later found out that my boss had recommended against hiring me during my interview, and I was still placed on their team. I did not like that job & quit after a few months.

nine_zeros 6y ago
Another experience bin the same vein is if you ask the boss for some help and come review time, they ding you for it. This especially stings if it comes from a team lead because in my mind, the team lead exists to bounce ideas off of and to iron out issues. But if you ever see a team lead or manager dinging you for just reaching out to them, switch teams or quit.
- devoutsalsa 6y ago
  > This especially stings if it comes from a team lead because in my mind, the team lead exists to bounce ideas off of and to iron out issues. Sounds like the Team Pb XD
zmmmmm 6y ago
I'm sorry to hear about that situation. Having said that, I am possibly a bit like your boss. I am a major bottleneck to my employees, and they struggle to overcome technical skill gaps between their knowledge and what they need to work on. Frequently I find they are blocked for days or weeks and when I finally get to sit down or spend time with them, their problem is sometimes solved within minutes. Sometimes I resent it because it's clear to me with some basic effort in learning new skills, they could get over these humps but they seem to take an attitude that if they hit something they don't already know, it's perfectly reasonable to stop progressing it and just declare they need help. It's really alien to me because as a young developer I would never have done that, I would just keep acquiring knowledge until I solve it (possibly taking a lot of time). While I'd never outright deny a direct request for help, I will often redirect where I think they can figure out the problem themselves with some investment in their own learning - "you need to learn about X, do some reading and tutorials, I think that will help", etc. I am curious if you would have advice? Assume you can't solve the problem of actually getting your bosses' help (they simply have too many responsibilities to be helping at a micro level), how could one develop a culture of self-learning and proactive responsibility to progress things?
- tomasdore 6y ago
  As their boss, could you ask them to document their problem, in something like Slab, to the point where it is clear what they are requesting (like a good, or great, request on Stack Overflow, rather than "I'm stuck"). Then they tag you, you do the minimum to pass it back to them (in the hope they can take it from there). You then have documentation for the next guy. Optionally, you could put an interim step where someone else on the team is given the chance to advance it; might keep it from your doorstep. But I don't know if that'd help in your situation! I've assumed that the problem is with them, not you, as that's how you wrote it. But if you have (possibly) set a tone where their solutions work but not as well as yours and are switched because it's not done as well as you'd do it, then it's on you (possibly?)! :-)
- devoutsalsa 6y ago
  I guess a lot of it comes down to what you expect of your employees. If you expect them to figure out it for themselves, and you give them enough time to do it, then maybe it's OK. If you are constantly demanding everything & offering nothing, then you have a problem. My advice is that if you know what someone needs to work on, and they don't, just frikkin' say it. Don't wait until they are burned & trying to drag a merge request across the finish line. Also invest in tooling & processes that encourage people to figure things out & generally do better (which may be simply don't give them excuses to do worse).
- ccmonnett 6y ago
  You need to scold your children. That's a metaphor - of course you shouldn't treat your reports like children. But if they possess the following attitude, it's on you as the manager to let them know that it's not an acceptable practice on your team. > they seem to take an attitude that if they hit something they don't already know, it's perfectly reasonable to stop progressing it and just declare they need help This advice doesn't stand on its own; you'll need both more specific tactics and a broader strategy for dealing with the situation (providing tooling or scaffolding for improving their behavior). But the fact of the matter is that everything else you do for them won't matter if you condone this behavior - which you are, by allowing it to keep happening. PS I am an engineer-turned-manager and this is easily the least favorite part of the job for me as I get used to it. But it is ultimately your responsibility to do so, and you are impeding your own ability to improve as a manager the longer you resist doing it.

nine_zeros 6y ago

Another experience bin the same vein is if you ask the boss for some help and come review time, they ding you for it. This especially stings if it comes from a team lead because in my mind, the team lead exists to bounce ideas off of and to iron out issues. But if you ever see a team lead or manager dinging you for just reaching out to them, switch teams or quit.

devoutsalsa 6y ago
> This especially stings if it comes from a team lead because in my mind, the team lead exists to bounce ideas off of and to iron out issues. Sounds like the Team Pb XD

zmmmmm 6y ago

I'm sorry to hear about that situation. Having said that, I am possibly a bit like your boss. I am a major bottleneck to my employees, and they struggle to overcome technical skill gaps between their knowledge and what they need to work on. Frequently I find they are blocked for days or weeks and when I finally get to sit down or spend time with them, their problem is sometimes solved within minutes. Sometimes I resent it because it's clear to me with some basic effort in learning new skills, they could get over these humps but they seem to take an attitude that if they hit something they don't already know, it's perfectly reasonable to stop progressing it and just declare they need help. It's really alien to me because as a young developer I would never have done that, I would just keep acquiring knowledge until I solve it (possibly taking a lot of time). While I'd never outright deny a direct request for help, I will often redirect where I think they can figure out the problem themselves with some investment in their own learning - "you need to learn about X, do some reading and tutorials, I think that will help", etc. I am curious if you would have advice? Assume you can't solve the problem of actually getting your bosses' help (they simply have too many responsibilities to be helping at a micro level), how could one develop a culture of self-learning and proactive responsibility to progress things?

tomasdore 6y ago
As their boss, could you ask them to document their problem, in something like Slab, to the point where it is clear what they are requesting (like a good, or great, request on Stack Overflow, rather than "I'm stuck"). Then they tag you, you do the minimum to pass it back to them (in the hope they can take it from there). You then have documentation for the next guy. Optionally, you could put an interim step where someone else on the team is given the chance to advance it; might keep it from your doorstep. But I don't know if that'd help in your situation! I've assumed that the problem is with them, not you, as that's how you wrote it. But if you have (possibly) set a tone where their solutions work but not as well as yours and are switched because it's not done as well as you'd do it, then it's on you (possibly?)! :-)
devoutsalsa 6y ago
I guess a lot of it comes down to what you expect of your employees. If you expect them to figure out it for themselves, and you give them enough time to do it, then maybe it's OK. If you are constantly demanding everything & offering nothing, then you have a problem. My advice is that if you know what someone needs to work on, and they don't, just frikkin' say it. Don't wait until they are burned & trying to drag a merge request across the finish line. Also invest in tooling & processes that encourage people to figure things out & generally do better (which may be simply don't give them excuses to do worse).
ccmonnett 6y ago
You need to scold your children. That's a metaphor - of course you shouldn't treat your reports like children. But if they possess the following attitude, it's on you as the manager to let them know that it's not an acceptable practice on your team. > they seem to take an attitude that if they hit something they don't already know, it's perfectly reasonable to stop progressing it and just declare they need help This advice doesn't stand on its own; you'll need both more specific tactics and a broader strategy for dealing with the situation (providing tooling or scaffolding for improving their behavior). But the fact of the matter is that everything else you do for them won't matter if you condone this behavior - which you are, by allowing it to keep happening. PS I am an engineer-turned-manager and this is easily the least favorite part of the job for me as I get used to it. But it is ultimately your responsibility to do so, and you are impeding your own ability to improve as a manager the longer you resist doing it.