4 ms·

As the parent of a child with Down Syndrome who is also autistic, I can say it is wonderful experience. He brings us great joy and love, despite his unique need

• 2lwxxtj 6y ago
  Do you have other children? Would you have preferred it if your child with Down Syndrome had not been born that way?
  • canam 6y ago
    I do. I have another son who does not have Down Syndrome. Your question is difficult to answer. His condition is a part of who he is. If he didn't have Down Syndrome he would be a different person. In effect your question is do I wish I had a different son. The answer is no, despite the challenges.
    • 2lwxxtj 6y ago
      If I were to ask if you'd prefer that your normal son had been born with Down Syndrome, would that be an easier question for you to answer?
      • tptacek 6y ago
        This is getting creepy. Maybe you might back off a bit.
        • 2lwxxtj 6y ago
          He made the choice to share personal details. If he doesn't want to continue to answer, he doesn't have to. I'm not going to follow him around on here trying to get an answer out of him.
      • canam 6y ago
        It's really not a different question. Either way if my other son also had Down Syndrome, I would accept him and love him for who is. That's our job as parents, right? BTW, our odds of having our first son with Down Syndrome and autism were about 1 in a million (maybe higher). Our odds of having a second child with Down Syndrome were 1 in 100. That didn't stop us. I don't mind answering questions about our experience. Hopefully this line of questions isn't trying to prove a point.
        • 2lwxxtj 6y ago
          As a parent, it is terribly hard to imagine your child not being there. I suppose what I'm curious about is, knowing what it's like to raise a child with Down Syndrome and what it's like to raise a child without, if you hadn't had either child yet, or perhaps were to have a third child, would you have a preference, and if so how strong of a preference?
          • canam 6y ago
            Every child is different and has unique challenges. All parents here can attest to that. Regardless of disabilities, there are emotional issues, sub-culture issues, etc. The biggest challenge is the lack of community support. I live in the US, and disability services are the first thing cut when ever there is a budget cut. Most workers who choose to work in the support industry make little over minimum wage, for their entire careers. That means high turnover. That leaves a lot of care to the parents and extended family. So financially there are extra costs (e.g. paying a sitter, for an adult child), equipment, and planning for support after you are gone. There is emotional stress, but you can probably imagine that. One of my peeves is how casually people throw around the R-word. Then act innocent that they didn't mean to be insulting. So yes there are challenges. I wouldn't want my son to be anyone else though. I'm in my 50s, my kids are in their 20s. I'm not looking to have anymore kids. :)
• smabie 6y ago
  What does this mean? Like you don't think people should have the choice to abort?
  • canam 6y ago
    My comment was in response to the question why would anyone want a child like that. There seems to be pressure to terminate pregnancies with Down Syndrome. Fear of the unknown drives the decision, and it is a non-controversial decision because society seems to expect it. Once you see past the disability and humanize them, it does seem cruel to terminate a pregnancy due to Down Syndrome. That said, I'm pro-choice and always support the right to choose.