4 ms·

The assumption that there's something wrong with not interacting with other people eagerly and often strikes me as oddly egotistical. Other people aren't alive

by drblast 15y ago

The assumption that there's something wrong with not interacting with other people eagerly and often strikes me as oddly egotistical. Other people aren't alive solely for the enjoyment of extraverts. The "problem," if there is one, is that extraverts are uncomfortable and find it difficult to interact with introverts. But this is as much the fault of extraverted people as it is of introverted people. They speak a different language and need to meet halfway to interact effectively. Due to the personality type, however, the extraverts see this as a huge problem while the introverts really don't care all that much. What if we asked the obvious counter-question: Why are extraverts so threatened by anyone who won't interact with them on their terms? Nobody asks that because extraverts get a pass on this; it's the introvert's fault when social interaction between and extravert and an intravert is uncomfortable. I can see why that would happen but it's odd.

bluekeybox 15y ago
> Why are extraverts so threatened by anyone who won't interact with them on their terms? I act as an extravert in certain situations and as an introvert in others, so I feel qualified to answer your question. Extraverts don't always interact with everyone -- for example, in circles where social cliques are established, extraverts will interact with people outside of their clique less often. I call this "exclusionary" behavior -- one that serves to maintain the exclusiveness of the clique. Given that cases of extreme introversion are rare, an extravert A is more likely to interpret another individual B (who could well be an extreme introvert) as another extravert who simply shuns individual A so as to exclude A from his or her clique. The reason this "misinterpretation" occurs is because extreme introversion is rare (1% of the population?) while exclusionary behavior (shunning others to maintain exclusive cliques) is relatively highly prevalent (20% of the population?). So the conditional probability that individual B is not an introvert but an extravert exhibiting exclusionary behavior is high. Basically, the extravert A makes a correct conclusion given the limited information he/she possesses. Because the introvert B is unlikely to engage into conversation with A, the individual A will never gain more information about B and will therefore maintain the conclusion that B is an asshole.
- rokhayakebe 15y ago
  extraverts will interact with people outside of their clique less often. I call this "exclusionary" behavior Touche. There is only one center of attention, and I have noticed extreme extroverts will not let you in if you are going to take away from their attention. It's like drug.
jrspruitt 15y ago
I was thinking pretty much the same thing. I'm guessing extroverts need to "fit in" a lot more than introverts, and this challenges the extroverts needs perhaps. Also it could be found that when you aren't being talked to, that there is something wrong with yourself, instead of it being the other person's issue. So perhaps it causes some issues that way too. I think society is sort of conditioned to think someone who doesn't socialize at a certain level, somehow has a problem. Which we are a society, socializing keeps us together, so its understood why this is probably seen as a bit more of an issue. Being introverted I like to maintain a low level of socializing, I do it when I want to, I have no problem doing it, its just not as much as other people. But not all people have that ability, and I think people assume the worst, that the person somehow needs "fixing" and isn't happy with their social life and doesn't know how to socialize. Where me, bottom line, I'm not talking to you cause I don't want to. Whether its because I find the person terribly annoying, or just can't think of anything worth while to say is dependent on the situation. Which is why I either really like extroverts or really hate them, they keep the conversation going and are fun, or they never get the damn point, I don't want to talk to you, and annoy the hell out of me.
icegreentea 15y ago
One reason is because being passive-aggressively pissed off at someone looks very much like certain introverted responses. Likewise, an "extroverted" person with an off day will act "introverted" hence the follow up "you okay man?". In other words, a less than normal "extrovert" looks kinda like an "introvert".

by drblast 15y ago

bluekeybox 15y ago

> Why are extraverts so threatened by anyone who won't interact with them on their terms? I act as an extravert in certain situations and as an introvert in others, so I feel qualified to answer your question. Extraverts don't always interact with everyone -- for example, in circles where social cliques are established, extraverts will interact with people outside of their clique less often. I call this "exclusionary" behavior -- one that serves to maintain the exclusiveness of the clique. Given that cases of extreme introversion are rare, an extravert A is more likely to interpret another individual B (who could well be an extreme introvert) as another extravert who simply shuns individual A so as to exclude A from his or her clique. The reason this "misinterpretation" occurs is because extreme introversion is rare (1% of the population?) while exclusionary behavior (shunning others to maintain exclusive cliques) is relatively highly prevalent (20% of the population?). So the conditional probability that individual B is not an introvert but an extravert exhibiting exclusionary behavior is high. Basically, the extravert A makes a correct conclusion given the limited information he/she possesses. Because the introvert B is unlikely to engage into conversation with A, the individual A will never gain more information about B and will therefore maintain the conclusion that B is an asshole.

rokhayakebe 15y ago
extraverts will interact with people outside of their clique less often. I call this "exclusionary" behavior Touche. There is only one center of attention, and I have noticed extreme extroverts will not let you in if you are going to take away from their attention. It's like drug.

jrspruitt 15y ago

I was thinking pretty much the same thing. I'm guessing extroverts need to "fit in" a lot more than introverts, and this challenges the extroverts needs perhaps. Also it could be found that when you aren't being talked to, that there is something wrong with yourself, instead of it being the other person's issue. So perhaps it causes some issues that way too. I think society is sort of conditioned to think someone who doesn't socialize at a certain level, somehow has a problem. Which we are a society, socializing keeps us together, so its understood why this is probably seen as a bit more of an issue. Being introverted I like to maintain a low level of socializing, I do it when I want to, I have no problem doing it, its just not as much as other people. But not all people have that ability, and I think people assume the worst, that the person somehow needs "fixing" and isn't happy with their social life and doesn't know how to socialize. Where me, bottom line, I'm not talking to you cause I don't want to. Whether its because I find the person terribly annoying, or just can't think of anything worth while to say is dependent on the situation. Which is why I either really like extroverts or really hate them, they keep the conversation going and are fun, or they never get the damn point, I don't want to talk to you, and annoy the hell out of me.

icegreentea 15y ago

One reason is because being passive-aggressively pissed off at someone looks very much like certain introverted responses. Likewise, an "extroverted" person with an off day will act "introverted" hence the follow up "you okay man?". In other words, a less than normal "extrovert" looks kinda like an "introvert".