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Sorry, my bad. "Out of hand" was supposed to go with "dismiss". "We dismiss without analyzing it because it's un-respectful." As for the second part, I will re

Sorry, my bad. "Out of hand" was supposed to go with "dismiss". "We dismiss without analyzing it because it's un-respectful." As for the second part, I will reuse an answer I've given before: I am tired of the lying, and I do consider politeness to be lying. "Yes, your children are smart and beautiful" and "that dress doesn't make you fat" (your fat does) can only be repeated so many times. A lot of people disagree with me :)

kergonath 6y ago
Being harsh and abrasive is not the same thing as being honest. Just respect the people even when you are demonstrating that their ideas are stupid. Everyone say stupid things at some point, there is no need to be an arsehole.
- mdpopescu 6y ago
  I understand this, and even agree with it up to a point. However, sometimes the gap between worldviews is too large. Here's a few hypotheticals: - you're a Christian trying to politely explain to a Satanist that you dislike sacrificing children to Moloch - you're a transgender trying to politely explain to a rabid transphobe that maybe you have a right to live your life as you see fit - you're a doctor explaining to someone that vaccines are not a conspiracy to kill the population - you're someone genuinely scared of the possibility of raised water levels in a few decades talking to the owner of a 3 mpg monster truck Now, how long do you think you can last being polite? More to the point, WHY?
  - kergonath 6y ago
    Right. In these contexts my reply is usually “fuck off”. Similarly with people arguing in bad faith. Life is too short to waste time with lunatics, but at the same time there is no point attacking them. I have seen few complete nutcases in a scientific context, though. But sometimes decent people have strange opinions about, say, vaccines, in which case I tend to change subject or walk away.
  - toomanyrichies 6y ago
    Seems to me like it's a matter of gauging the other person's willingness to change their mind (an admittedly difficult task in itself). If there is no argument or evidence that you could present which would be good enough to do so, the entire conversation seems to be pointless and it's probably best to just walk away. If they are in fact open to being proven wrong, doing so politely may still not work (i.e. they may be able to counter any point you make), but the odds are better than if one does so rudely. All other things being equal, we're more likely to be persuaded by someone we like (or at least are neutral toward) than someone we dislike.
  - aaron695 6y ago
    > - you're someone genuinely scared of the possibility of raised water levels in a few decades talking to the owner of a 3 mpg monster truck Someone 'genuinely scared' of raised water levels in a few decades is as nutty as someone who's 'genuinely scared' of QAnon or vaccines. A 3 mpg monster truck owner might have chosen to not have any children, so are not raping the planet like breeders. If I'm - "you're someone genuinely scared " then I'm pretty close to mentally ill. If my brain is malfunctioning generally it'll be much harder to deal with conflict. Why not just chat to someone who owns a truck, for my own mental health reasons.
  - AnimalMuppet 6y ago
    > Now, how long do you think you can last being polite? Difficult, I admit. I don't have tons of patience with the clearly-wrong-but-backed-by-spurious-arguments-and-willing-to-argue-forever types. > More to the point, WHY? At least in the case of the doctor, because if the person is your patient, it's part of your job. And even if they aren't, it's still a health concern. Reach them if you can. Now, there's a place for a verbal smackdown if you're at a party, say, and this person starts telling the room their anti-vax baloney. It's important that the room not believe this person. But still, be as polite as you can.
watwut 6y ago
If your honesty is all about insulting people and never something positive, then it says more about you then about honesty itself. Also, you don't have to comment on other people children at all. What is even the point of judging whether someone kids look beautifully or not? I doubt people comment on your beauty either.

kergonath 6y ago

Being harsh and abrasive is not the same thing as being honest. Just respect the people even when you are demonstrating that their ideas are stupid. Everyone say stupid things at some point, there is no need to be an arsehole.

mdpopescu 6y ago
I understand this, and even agree with it up to a point. However, sometimes the gap between worldviews is too large. Here's a few hypotheticals: - you're a Christian trying to politely explain to a Satanist that you dislike sacrificing children to Moloch - you're a transgender trying to politely explain to a rabid transphobe that maybe you have a right to live your life as you see fit - you're a doctor explaining to someone that vaccines are not a conspiracy to kill the population - you're someone genuinely scared of the possibility of raised water levels in a few decades talking to the owner of a 3 mpg monster truck Now, how long do you think you can last being polite? More to the point, WHY?
- kergonath 6y ago
  Right. In these contexts my reply is usually “fuck off”. Similarly with people arguing in bad faith. Life is too short to waste time with lunatics, but at the same time there is no point attacking them. I have seen few complete nutcases in a scientific context, though. But sometimes decent people have strange opinions about, say, vaccines, in which case I tend to change subject or walk away.
- toomanyrichies 6y ago
  Seems to me like it's a matter of gauging the other person's willingness to change their mind (an admittedly difficult task in itself). If there is no argument or evidence that you could present which would be good enough to do so, the entire conversation seems to be pointless and it's probably best to just walk away. If they are in fact open to being proven wrong, doing so politely may still not work (i.e. they may be able to counter any point you make), but the odds are better than if one does so rudely. All other things being equal, we're more likely to be persuaded by someone we like (or at least are neutral toward) than someone we dislike.
- aaron695 6y ago
  > - you're someone genuinely scared of the possibility of raised water levels in a few decades talking to the owner of a 3 mpg monster truck Someone 'genuinely scared' of raised water levels in a few decades is as nutty as someone who's 'genuinely scared' of QAnon or vaccines. A 3 mpg monster truck owner might have chosen to not have any children, so are not raping the planet like breeders. If I'm - "you're someone genuinely scared " then I'm pretty close to mentally ill. If my brain is malfunctioning generally it'll be much harder to deal with conflict. Why not just chat to someone who owns a truck, for my own mental health reasons.
- AnimalMuppet 6y ago
  > Now, how long do you think you can last being polite? Difficult, I admit. I don't have tons of patience with the clearly-wrong-but-backed-by-spurious-arguments-and-willing-to-argue-forever types. > More to the point, WHY? At least in the case of the doctor, because if the person is your patient, it's part of your job. And even if they aren't, it's still a health concern. Reach them if you can. Now, there's a place for a verbal smackdown if you're at a party, say, and this person starts telling the room their anti-vax baloney. It's important that the room not believe this person. But still, be as polite as you can.

watwut 6y ago

If your honesty is all about insulting people and never something positive, then it says more about you then about honesty itself. Also, you don't have to comment on other people children at all. What is even the point of judging whether someone kids look beautifully or not? I doubt people comment on your beauty either.