You start by saying "you feel your options are limited to X or Y" and then go on to say "X is the last refuge of the incompetent, do nothing" implying there is

You start by saying "you feel your options are limited to X or Y" and then go on to say "X is the last refuge of the incompetent, do nothing" implying there is some other option besides Y when you do nothing? So your real response is: when confronted with someone who refuses to engage with you on the level of a decent human being, just take it. This doesn't seem like the way civilization works to me. You've edited in a nice little tidbit about "well sometimes you've got to escalate" but failed to provide where that delineation is for you. Loud music isn't it. What about gunshots? What about children screaming loudly? What about someone breaking in to your neighbor's? When is it OK to escalate?