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For me, I honestly can't see how that's supposed to comfort you. They're gone from you now. It doesn't fucking matter if you're going to see them again, because

by randall 15y ago

For me, I honestly can't see how that's supposed to comfort you. They're gone from you now. It doesn't fucking matter if you're going to see them again, because the hurt is all about the actual data that you currently have. I can't wait to see my family again, but I still cry about them on a monthly basis, if not more. Maybe I'm a more "thinking" guy than other religious types, but for me, religion is about understanding who I am now, how to deal with life now, how to treat people better now, etc. It's not about some mysterious heaven / hell thing that scares you into being a good person. Religion for me is separated from mythology, though they do play into each other. (IE the nuts and bolts of how a religion comes into being are important, but the teachings and purpose of said religion are much more important.) Given that perspective, with a catastrophic event, "now" will always suck, without exception. You have to work through now in various ways. The new reality is what you need help with, not perceiving the person in some sort of blissful future state. That's why things like "I love you", etc., play so much better for me. I need a shoulder to cry on when I dream about my brother as if he's still fine and was hiding. I need people to help support me through hard times, not people to deflect reality and pretend like it's all going to be ok. </rant>

kajecounterhack 15y ago
I feel ya bro. I think other religious people often don't grasp as well the fact that we're not robots -- emotions ask for comfort, not to be rationalized away. Which is funny because people often think of religious people as emotional.
- bad_user 15y ago
  It's not that people saying dumb things are rational in any way, but more about people feeling the need to say something, anything to make it better and it kind of is an uncontrollable urge. Think about this, even as a theist you feel the need to ask yourself, why did your mother/brother/child had to die while others are still living, an irrational question by all means, that begets dumb answers; but it's part of a healthy mourning process and does help you get over it (IMHO). I also don't think it's about religious people versus the others, as people say dumb things regardless of their beliefs. I think this is a time in which it pays off to be religious. For instance, I do fall into agnosticism and question my religion quite frequently, but I just can't be an atheist simply because I cannot accept that the people I love (including my child for whom I'm capable to give my life if needed) will one day go into non-existence, sometimes painfully. That's an idea I just can't live with.

by randall 15y ago

kajecounterhack 15y ago

I feel ya bro. I think other religious people often don't grasp as well the fact that we're not robots -- emotions ask for comfort, not to be rationalized away. Which is funny because people often think of religious people as emotional.

bad_user 15y ago
It's not that people saying dumb things are rational in any way, but more about people feeling the need to say something, anything to make it better and it kind of is an uncontrollable urge. Think about this, even as a theist you feel the need to ask yourself, why did your mother/brother/child had to die while others are still living, an irrational question by all means, that begets dumb answers; but it's part of a healthy mourning process and does help you get over it (IMHO). I also don't think it's about religious people versus the others, as people say dumb things regardless of their beliefs. I think this is a time in which it pays off to be religious. For instance, I do fall into agnosticism and question my religion quite frequently, but I just can't be an atheist simply because I cannot accept that the people I love (including my child for whom I'm capable to give my life if needed) will one day go into non-existence, sometimes painfully. That's an idea I just can't live with.