warning: super anecdotal I have found the difference to be willingness to reflect or to what extent they are trying. A lot of my socially clueless friends (ca

warning: super anecdotal I have found the difference to be willingness to reflect or to what extent they are trying. A lot of my socially clueless friends (can't speak for if they lie on the spectrum) are delighted when I offer them a new set of rules that were previously invisible, instead of insulting them for not 'getting it'. They love being told what the lines between mean&blunt or curt&concise are. They can work around context well too, as long as it is explicitly laid out to them. Mean people (adults) are usually one of: 1. Neuro-diverse people who don't know they are mean 2. People with insecurities they are trying to work on 3. People with insecurities they refuse to acknowledge #3 is not worth it. #2 can seek help using traditional means. #1 needs some training wheels and personalized instruction to work their way up to socially well adjusted. Think of it as a person with a learning disability.