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I don't think there can be a real safe space. Toxic things for some might not be for others, reassuring things for some might be violent for others. It does not
by louhike 6y ago
I don't think there can be a real safe space. Toxic things for some might not be for others, reassuring things for some might be violent for others. It does not mean we should not try to improve how we behave, but it's important to understand it's impossible to have a generic rulebook we can apply everywhere to be safe with everyone.
As an example, some swearwords might really violent to hear for some people, but disallowing their use will be quite hard for those who lived in an environment where it was important part of communication. And it's often use as a distinction between rich and poor people (at least in France).
- biztos 6y agoDo the rich swear more in France, or the poor?
- yoz-y 6y agoI too wonder. One thing that I found quite interesting when moving to France was how casual everybody, even high school teachers, was with swearwords.
- mpweiher 6y agoNot sure where you are from originally, but the US is fairly unique in the world when it comes to these things.
- DubiousPusher 6y agoI'm getting on aside note on a side note already but this bumps into something I've been thinking about for days now so I can't resist. I'm beginning to think the swearing thing in the U.S. has to do with a perception of the concept of "innocence". Because I've noticed a lot of people only begin to have a problem with swearing here when it involves children. For sure, there are people who are just generally against swearing for religious or etiquette reasons. However, having kids really seems to change a large number of people into prudes regarding swears. I'll admit, when I first heard my 4 year old swear it was jarring. But I thought it through and was like, "my wife and I swear all the time, why can't the kid swear? I can either cave to this uncomfortable feeling or extend my kid the same privallege I extend myself." At one point, my brother came to stay with us. He swears like a sailor yet when my kid swore, he was shocked. Not 10 minutes before he was cursing in front of the kid. I also have friends who swore often when we were at college together and they started forbidding swears when they didn't like hearing it coming from their 3 year old. American culture still has a partial obsession with virginity and the concept of innocence and my best guess is that this subconsciously extends to people's expectations for their children.
- mpweiher 6y agoI think the word you're looking for might be "puritanism".
- DubiousPusher 6y agoYes but a little more specifically, a kind of reactionary puritanism. In that it is triggered as a reaction to entering family life and not driven by a set of consistent lifelong values.
- Y_Y 6y agoAmerica is weird in lots of ways, but discouraging children from swearing, and generally trying to inculcate "polite" behaviour is normal throughout the Anglosphere.
- sildur 6y agoHere in Spain we try not to swear in front of kids (because we know they will copy it), and we find jarring to hear a kid swear. More or less jarring depending on the word. I remember my surprise the first time I heard a grandma swear (I was a teen at that moment). I assumed grandmas never swore.
- yoz-y 6y agoFrom eastern Europe, everybody swore but not openly in school during class.
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]