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> Guys, unless you are really hot you are probably better off not wasting your time on Tinder I have zero experience with Tinder, but a friend of mine has rece

> Guys, unless you are really hot you are probably better off not wasting your time on Tinder I have zero experience with Tinder, but a friend of mine has recently been on a Tinder binge (rebound after a bad divorce) and he was getting lucky left and right. He's looks are somewhere around average (definitely not "hot") and he has shitty profile photos to boot. So, the reality must be more complex than the quote above.

Jonovono 6y ago
Big part will be location. If you are in a reasonably sized city, it's still really easy for mediocre looking dudes as long as you arn't weird/creepy
o_m 6y ago
That's the way they'll get you. Tinder is like a deck of cards, and you want to be at the top so more people see you. When you create a profile you will be near the top for a few days, then depeing on how popular you are you get sent further back in the deck. The only way to get on the top again of the deck is to pay money. It's the "First hit is free" business model.
- blablabla123 6y ago
  I think the key is also to not get too emotionally invested in it and to not always believe what other people have to say about it. Just create the stupid profile (on Tinder or any similar app), put it online and do the swiping. Sometimes you're on a winning spree, things work better than expected and sometimes it's like the desert of nothingness for weeks or months. Using it during lockdown with freezing temperatures with snow is definitely another hurdle.
- burntoutfire 6y ago
  He's been doing that for over a year now. His main advantage I think is that he's in a big city with 112 women for every 100 men, and the split is even more in his favor in the educated/ambitious cohort he belongs to. Also, he's near the top in terms of perceived income (super-nice car, nice apartment, willing to spend a lot on the dates), but that only helps once you're on a date.
  - jfengel 6y ago
    Out of curiosity... how is he with women? That is, does he seem like the nice, respectful, intelligent, interested type? Or is he just a lucky jerk? I ask because it's my experience that it's not that hard to get lucky on Tinder, especially in a city (where there are lots of people nearby). You just need to be willing to treat women like human beings so that they don't feel unsafe with you. In particular you don't need to be exceptionally gorgeous. Women have told me over and over just how badly most men behave online and then on dates. Simply being able to hold an intelligent conversation, and not starting with "DTF?", puts you in the top 10%. But I don't have a lot of data points. So I'd be curious if your friend refutes my theory.
    - burntoutfire 6y ago
      He's definitely on the respectful side.
DyslexicAtheist 6y ago
women care less about looks than men from my own experience. being hot sure helps but a hot guy that is just being a prick won't be as lucky as an average looking person that has empathy, good manners, humor, is able to listen and shows integrity and confidence. > the reality must be more complex than the quote above. I'm quite sure of the complexity and even what I wrote above won't always lead to a great outcome with the "wrong" person.

Jonovono 6y ago

Big part will be location. If you are in a reasonably sized city, it's still really easy for mediocre looking dudes as long as you arn't weird/creepy

o_m 6y ago

That's the way they'll get you. Tinder is like a deck of cards, and you want to be at the top so more people see you. When you create a profile you will be near the top for a few days, then depeing on how popular you are you get sent further back in the deck. The only way to get on the top again of the deck is to pay money. It's the "First hit is free" business model.

blablabla123 6y ago
I think the key is also to not get too emotionally invested in it and to not always believe what other people have to say about it. Just create the stupid profile (on Tinder or any similar app), put it online and do the swiping. Sometimes you're on a winning spree, things work better than expected and sometimes it's like the desert of nothingness for weeks or months. Using it during lockdown with freezing temperatures with snow is definitely another hurdle.
burntoutfire 6y ago
He's been doing that for over a year now. His main advantage I think is that he's in a big city with 112 women for every 100 men, and the split is even more in his favor in the educated/ambitious cohort he belongs to. Also, he's near the top in terms of perceived income (super-nice car, nice apartment, willing to spend a lot on the dates), but that only helps once you're on a date.
- jfengel 6y ago
  Out of curiosity... how is he with women? That is, does he seem like the nice, respectful, intelligent, interested type? Or is he just a lucky jerk? I ask because it's my experience that it's not that hard to get lucky on Tinder, especially in a city (where there are lots of people nearby). You just need to be willing to treat women like human beings so that they don't feel unsafe with you. In particular you don't need to be exceptionally gorgeous. Women have told me over and over just how badly most men behave online and then on dates. Simply being able to hold an intelligent conversation, and not starting with "DTF?", puts you in the top 10%. But I don't have a lot of data points. So I'd be curious if your friend refutes my theory.
  - burntoutfire 6y ago
    He's definitely on the respectful side.

DyslexicAtheist 6y ago

women care less about looks than men from my own experience. being hot sure helps but a hot guy that is just being a prick won't be as lucky as an average looking person that has empathy, good manners, humor, is able to listen and shows integrity and confidence. > the reality must be more complex than the quote above. I'm quite sure of the complexity and even what I wrote above won't always lead to a great outcome with the "wrong" person.