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> The revealed preference among most women to attempt to engage romantically only with the same small percentage of men who are perceived as attractive is consi

> The revealed preference among most women to attempt to engage romantically only with the same small percentage of men who are perceived as attractive is consistent with the social system called “polygyny,” in which a small percentage of males monopolize the mating opportunities with all females, while many other males have no access to mates. This whole article and line of thought is bat-shit crazy and needs to have more attention called to it so it can be debunked. This is the second time this week I have seen this kind of thing on HN. Honestly I'm not well equipped to provide help and information to people that think this way, but this whole line of reasoning is horrible and in my view is on par with conspiracy theories, and can only harm society.

jvanderbot 6y ago
It doesn't seem too far out there. Its easy to recall evidence for and against the premise. But, if you'd like something to rest your skepticism on, consider that they are using dating services which are primarily visual based. Kindness, courage, virtue, money, loyalty, and other important qualities (like TALENT) are not studied well enough (ugly rock stars probably do better than handsome duds ). These attractive qualities in a mate don't come through as well, so their assessment is based on limited data.
- doggodaddo78 6y ago
  If you're a big-time CEO, you can have 50 women in a night. See also: Felix Dennis
manfredo 6y ago
If you're not well equipped to refute the claim, why do you feel equipped to call it horrible, a conspiracy theory, and a harm to society? The notion that women are more selective than men is something I consider neither harmful, nor particularly far fetched.
- iujjkfjdkkdkf 6y ago
  Because the attitudes about women that embodied in this kind of garbage are so abhorrent that they need to be called ou, debunked, and ridiculed. That's why my original point was that more attention needs to be drawn to this nonsense, so it doesn't quietly fester in corners of the internet.
  - Mountain_Skies 6y ago
    If it needs to be debunked, why haven't you done so? You're spouting angry moralistic judgements but since you know this must be debunked and yet haven't done so, you're morally complicit. Until you can thoroughly debunk this, you are as much of the problem as anyone else. So come on, show us your data.
    - lukasb 6y ago
      No one needs to spend precious time debunking incel nonsense
      - BelenusMordred 6y ago
        Yeah, all you need to do is call them names and it's case closed right? Why not throw a "tech-bro" slur in there for good measure? The real harm to society is people whose only retort is abusing others with the dogwhistle of the moment in the face of actual evidence. Tinder stats for years have mirrored what is said in the article. https://archive.is/fP3sH https://archive.is/fP3sH
        iujjkfjdkkdkf 6y ago
        No, incels need to realize they are an extreme outlier and not part of some broader trend. Blaming women, or tinder, or other externalities is a cop out. Go out and talk to people, in the real world. if you're identifying with this garbage, you're on a very dangerous path, seriously, get help.
m0rti 6y ago
OkCupid has a number of charts, stats and articles about dating dynamics. Here’s one. More searches would yield more results. https://web.archive.org/web/20100324074028/http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/11/17/your-looks-and-online-dating/ https://web.archive.org/web/20100324074028/http://blog.okcup... Here’s a Hinge engineer talking about the dating economy. https://web.archive.org/web/20171230141457/http://hingeirl.com/hinge-reports/whats-the-biggest-challenge-men-face-on-dating-apps-a-qa-with-aviv-goldgeier-junior-growth-engineer/ https://web.archive.org/web/20171230141457/http://hingeirl.c... There is an apparent imbalance. Women, in general, are more advantageous compared to men when it comes to dating.
doggodaddo78 6y ago
I live in downtown Austin. One of my neighbors brought home 14 (!) women, they barely all fit in an elevator, and you could tell what they were up to. Another time, I counted 3 polyamorous relationships in the span of two city blocks where a guy was affectionately holding hands with 2 women. This is the way life works, whether you want to believe it, or not. I had a girlfriend who gave me/us three of her college girlfriends.

jvanderbot 6y ago

It doesn't seem too far out there. Its easy to recall evidence for and against the premise. But, if you'd like something to rest your skepticism on, consider that they are using dating services which are primarily visual based. Kindness, courage, virtue, money, loyalty, and other important qualities (like TALENT) are not studied well enough (ugly rock stars probably do better than handsome duds ). These attractive qualities in a mate don't come through as well, so their assessment is based on limited data.

doggodaddo78 6y ago
If you're a big-time CEO, you can have 50 women in a night. See also: Felix Dennis

manfredo 6y ago

If you're not well equipped to refute the claim, why do you feel equipped to call it horrible, a conspiracy theory, and a harm to society? The notion that women are more selective than men is something I consider neither harmful, nor particularly far fetched.

iujjkfjdkkdkf 6y ago
Because the attitudes about women that embodied in this kind of garbage are so abhorrent that they need to be called ou, debunked, and ridiculed. That's why my original point was that more attention needs to be drawn to this nonsense, so it doesn't quietly fester in corners of the internet.
- Mountain_Skies 6y ago
  If it needs to be debunked, why haven't you done so? You're spouting angry moralistic judgements but since you know this must be debunked and yet haven't done so, you're morally complicit. Until you can thoroughly debunk this, you are as much of the problem as anyone else. So come on, show us your data.
  - lukasb 6y ago
    No one needs to spend precious time debunking incel nonsense
    - BelenusMordred 6y ago
      Yeah, all you need to do is call them names and it's case closed right? Why not throw a "tech-bro" slur in there for good measure? The real harm to society is people whose only retort is abusing others with the dogwhistle of the moment in the face of actual evidence. Tinder stats for years have mirrored what is said in the article. https://archive.is/fP3sH https://archive.is/fP3sH
      - iujjkfjdkkdkf 6y ago
        No, incels need to realize they are an extreme outlier and not part of some broader trend. Blaming women, or tinder, or other externalities is a cop out. Go out and talk to people, in the real world. if you're identifying with this garbage, you're on a very dangerous path, seriously, get help.

m0rti 6y ago

OkCupid has a number of charts, stats and articles about dating dynamics. Here’s one. More searches would yield more results. https://web.archive.org/web/20100324074028/http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/11/17/your-looks-and-online-dating/ https://web.archive.org/web/20100324074028/http://blog.okcup... Here’s a Hinge engineer talking about the dating economy. https://web.archive.org/web/20171230141457/http://hingeirl.com/hinge-reports/whats-the-biggest-challenge-men-face-on-dating-apps-a-qa-with-aviv-goldgeier-junior-growth-engineer/ https://web.archive.org/web/20171230141457/http://hingeirl.c... There is an apparent imbalance. Women, in general, are more advantageous compared to men when it comes to dating.

doggodaddo78 6y ago

I live in downtown Austin. One of my neighbors brought home 14 (!) women, they barely all fit in an elevator, and you could tell what they were up to. Another time, I counted 3 polyamorous relationships in the span of two city blocks where a guy was affectionately holding hands with 2 women. This is the way life works, whether you want to believe it, or not. I had a girlfriend who gave me/us three of her college girlfriends.