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You're using your definition of 'need' to point out that it doesn't fit into what the parent has said. You're right, your definition doesn't fit, his definitio
by alexashka 6y ago
You're using your definition of 'need' to point out that it doesn't fit into what the parent has said.
You're right, your definition doesn't fit, his definition fits perfectly. Words have multiple meanings.
- ironmagma 6y agoWell if you instead define a need as a want, then of course it makes sense, but that is because it’s tautological. “People do things because they want to do them.” That’s hardly an insight.
- alexashka 6y agoIndeed, in non-violent communication, a need and a want are more or less interchangeable. The parent did an arguably poor job of expressing why non-violent communication is interesting. It's value prop is in learning to think in terms of people expressing their needs/wants and recognizing 'you don't listen to me' as a complaint about a need/want not being met, not an attack or statement regarding your character. The author of this thread has internalized being 'low in empathy', while non-violent communication would reject such labels as unhelpful and inaccurate, instead focusing on seeing if the wants/needs of a relationship can be improved and met through effective communication regarding what is actually desired, instead of blaming and attacking one another.