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Would ” That sucks, have you tried doing something about it?” be good? As in, use the socratic method to help them come up with a solution.
by jack_pp 6y ago
Would ” That sucks, have you tried doing something about it?” be good? As in, use the socratic method to help them come up with a solution.
- thestepafter 6y agoI am learning empathy myself and I think this would imply that they are being lazy and could come across as condescending. “That’s too bad, if I had that problem I would do something about it.”
- Ariez 6y agoI was just thinking about this I think you're right. Such small differences in phrasing can have a big difference. I think a great response would be "That sucks, do you THINK if you spoke to them something would change?" Rather than "have you tried to speak to them?" The first is a question, that will prompt them to think and then maybe act. The second is a question that is a little accusatory (you should have already spoken to them about it) Conversation is hard!
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- kibwen 6y agoThe Socratic method is very good at problem solving, but when it comes to interpersonal communication it often comes across as aggressive and condescending. If you're going to use it, make sure it's in a purely problem-solving context, and that the other person is aware of what you're doing and has some degree of familiarity with you so that they don't assume the worst.
- mjwhansen 6y ago"That sucks" may be intended as empathetic, but usually comes off as callous. You might try the combination of [name the feeling] + [broad question], like: "That sounds frustrating. What have you tried to solve that?" or ismply stating the feeling and letting them move towards solution ideas after their feeling has been established, like: "It sounds like this is taking a lot of energy from you." (wait, let them reply) "Can you tell me what you're working through to try to fix this?"