6 ms·

Ask HN: Feedback on our landing page?

7 points by petervandijck 15y ago

http://getgush.com/ In particular I'd love to hear feedback on the wording. Are you seeing some kind of value you'd like to sign up for? What do you think the product could be? Much appreciated!

petervandijck 15y ago
Clickable http://getgush.com/ http://getgush.com/
pbreit 15y ago
Seems compelling except that I'm wondering how easy it is going to be for the customer.
- petervandijck 15y ago
  Very easy, but the proof of that will be in the proverbial pudding :)
DanielStraight 15y ago
Inconsistent tenses. "We will store" but then "we are doing." Last sentence should read, "and we will do it for free." This isn't just to be pedantic. Consistency in grammatical form creates symmetry which improves the impact of your writing. I would also consider striking "we believe" from the text. As I'm sure you've heard, if you didn't believe it, you wouldn't have written it.
- petervandijck 15y ago
  Edited.
maxdemarzi 15y ago
Copywriting is hard. Instead of : "Your photos are your memories; you should never lose them. We store every photo you have ever taken. And we do it free." How about: "Your photos are your memories, don't lose them. Let us safeguard every photo you have ever taken completely free." "Your photos are your memories, don't lose them. Let us safeguard your photos completely free." "Your photos are your memories, don't lose them. Let us safeguard your memories completely free."
latch 15y ago
Unless you are targeting a very narrow audience, I gotta believe the UTF cloud character is a huge mistake. In fact, I'm not even sure I'd use the word "cloud" for, what I suspect, is your audience. My mom won't understand "cloud" (let alone a picture of something weird)...but she'll understand "online". Of course, if you are targeting VCs... I'm no designer, but something seems wrong with the typography, Logo aside, I see 3 setences with 3 different fonts. I find the last 2 hard to read. "Your photos are your memories" is too dark against the background and "we're not yet live" is small and messed up (I'll check tonight in a real OS). As for what I think it could be? Flickr.
- DanielStraight 15y ago
  On my computer, that character is just a little dot basically... I thought it was a bug at first.
  - latch 15y ago
    it looks totally different at home. 100% looks more like a cloud. 100% still think that's silly.
caleb 15y ago
Couple of ideas: Change "loose" to "lose" (typo). Instead of saying "Gush puts..." consider wording such as "Share your photos and access your work online."

7 points by petervandijck 15y ago

http://getgush.com/ In particular I'd love to hear feedback on the wording. Are you seeing some kind of value you'd like to sign up for? What do you think the product could be? Much appreciated!

petervandijck 15y ago

Clickable http://getgush.com/ http://getgush.com/

pbreit 15y ago

Seems compelling except that I'm wondering how easy it is going to be for the customer.

petervandijck 15y ago
Very easy, but the proof of that will be in the proverbial pudding :)

DanielStraight 15y ago

Inconsistent tenses. "We will store" but then "we are doing." Last sentence should read, "and we will do it for free." This isn't just to be pedantic. Consistency in grammatical form creates symmetry which improves the impact of your writing. I would also consider striking "we believe" from the text. As I'm sure you've heard, if you didn't believe it, you wouldn't have written it.

petervandijck 15y ago
Edited.

maxdemarzi 15y ago

Copywriting is hard. Instead of : "Your photos are your memories; you should never lose them. We store every photo you have ever taken. And we do it free." How about: "Your photos are your memories, don't lose them. Let us safeguard every photo you have ever taken completely free." "Your photos are your memories, don't lose them. Let us safeguard your photos completely free." "Your photos are your memories, don't lose them. Let us safeguard your memories completely free."

latch 15y ago

Unless you are targeting a very narrow audience, I gotta believe the UTF cloud character is a huge mistake. In fact, I'm not even sure I'd use the word "cloud" for, what I suspect, is your audience. My mom won't understand "cloud" (let alone a picture of something weird)...but she'll understand "online". Of course, if you are targeting VCs... I'm no designer, but something seems wrong with the typography, Logo aside, I see 3 setences with 3 different fonts. I find the last 2 hard to read. "Your photos are your memories" is too dark against the background and "we're not yet live" is small and messed up (I'll check tonight in a real OS). As for what I think it could be? Flickr.

DanielStraight 15y ago
On my computer, that character is just a little dot basically... I thought it was a bug at first.
- latch 15y ago
  it looks totally different at home. 100% looks more like a cloud. 100% still think that's silly.

caleb 15y ago

Couple of ideas: Change "loose" to "lose" (typo). Instead of saying "Gush puts..." consider wording such as "Share your photos and access your work online."