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About 17 years ago I tried out some vamachara tantra exercises I found on the web. Heady stuff. It gave me a three week episode of full-blown mania. I only need
by asymptosis 6y ago
About 17 years ago I tried out some vamachara tantra exercises I found on the web. Heady stuff. It gave me a three week episode of full-blown mania. I only needed four hours sleep a night. I had this wild urge to run and jump everywhere I went.
After three weeks, it culminated in an auditory hallucination that was indistinguishable from telepathy. Then the mania suddenly drained and never came back however often I repeated the exercises.
Years later, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but it's usually fairly mild, with hypomania and mixed states which get worse when under stress. Nothing was ever again as intense as the meditation-induced mania of 2004.
- nemo1618 6y agoVery interesting. I wonder if meditation acted as a "trigger" experience, much like how heavy use of psychedelics is known (or at least widely believed) to trigger latent schizophrenia in people who are predisposed towards it.
- kayodelycaon 6y agoI’m bipolar. My understanding from my own experience is that any attempt to play around with altered states of consciousness is dangerous when you’re already predisposed to psychosis.
- kumarvvr 6y agoReally curious. Can you give more details? Vamachara stuff is forbidden and can lead to extremely dangerous reverse effects.
- asymptosis 6y agoIt might be forbidden within the context of certain religious paths/orders, but it's not forbidden for random people on the internet to experiment with whatever exercises they come across. I think the site where I got it doesn't exist any more. I think I have a copy in my own archives somewhere. The basic gist of the practices was a combination of various asanas, mantras, pranayama and visualisation.
- asymptosis 6y agoThis was it: https://web.archive.org/web/20040612155253/http://www.kamakala.com/vama-2.htm https://web.archive.org/web/20040612155253/http://www.kamaka...
- IAmGraydon 6y agoYou sure it wasn’t the text color/background combination that caused your psychotic break?
- asymptosis 6y agohahaha :D
- blobbers 6y agoI clicked this way back link, and it reminded me of what the internet used to be. It was so much cooler.
- thevardanian 6y agoIt's not about it being religious, but about it being dangerous, or in some ways a hinderance/harmful to the self. Kind of like how self harm is forbidden. Vamamarga is psychological self harm, in a sense. Aghoris then take that same principle to the next level. The problem is people fetishize, or in other ways make arguments and ideas about Indian origin things within the context of religion. That has in my opinion done far more harm in understanding the philosophical approaches of Dharma than any other misconception, including translation errors.
- asymptosis 6y agoPerhaps you're right, but I wasn't operating within a Buddhist or Hindu paradigm at that time. I was exploring a wide variety of practices as part of a novitiate with the Pact of the Illuminates of Thanateros. Even if someone had told me that it was risky, I still would have had the attitude of, thanks, but I need to find this out for myself from experience rather than just take your word for it.
- mangamadaiyan 6y agoWho forbids it?
- hnick 6y agoInteresting piece on it here. I wasn't aware of these terms. Basically, by definition it is about breaching Hindu societal taboos, unless I am vastly misunderstanding this brief summary. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Left-hand_path_and_right-hand_path https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Left-hand_path_and_right-hand_...
- asymptosis 6y agoThis is the syllabus I was working through: https://web.archive.org/web/20040612155253/http://www.kamakala.com/vama-2.htm https://web.archive.org/web/20040612155253/http://www.kamaka... It isn't obvious that asanas, breathing exercises, mantras and visualisation are somehow breaching any taboos of any society that I know of ;)
- mulberrybush 6y agoThis is derived from kriya yoga, not Vāmācāra. Another similar online tutorial is https://www.aypsite.org/10.html https://www.aypsite.org/10.html. Real Vāmācāra by definition involves breaking all taboos - see this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hiKDMsIHn8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hiKDMsIHn8 (warning - it is pretty horrific)
- Nemrod67 6y agoWatching the doc, all I see is LARP. Why do we consider those seriously while making fun of LaVey's rituals?
- mulberrybush 6y agoShouldnt consider any of it seriously - it is all LARP all the way down...
- tartoran 6y agoPerhaps this was one of the many possible triggers and not a cause. It’s possible that some stressful events in your life would trigger something similar at a later date. The thing is that once such an episode happens one learns about some limits and how to stay away from them. How is your health now? I used to have some slight hypomanic states which were very productive and creative but would end up with a depressed and brain foggy period before I learned to avoid those triggers. One of those for me was drinking too much coffee, poor sleep hygene and some poorly done or unattended breathing exercises which resulted in a short but very bad period of hyperventilating and a few panic attacks. Some 14-15 years have passed since and have been feeling just normal, if not much better as I have a better diet and a more ballanced lifestyle: exercise, good sleep, etc
- asymptosis 6y agoThanks for the question. My mental health these days is usually okay, although drinking too much is a problem for me, along with intermittent insomnia and depression. Having a stable income helps, and I live a lifestyle which doesn't invite much stress. Glad to hear you're also feeling better these days :)