I’ve taken mushrooms quite a few times. With a light dose, it’s just been mild, being silly and giggling at colors and nature. Pleasant, but just kind of a fun

I’ve taken mushrooms quite a few times. With a light dose, it’s just been mild, being silly and giggling at colors and nature. Pleasant, but just kind of a fun drug honestly. With a moderate dose, you tend to be introspective and consider your own life and relationships in different ways. Feels like therapy to be honest. Hard work. Emotionally draining. There’s usually a lesson at the end. Overall it is good for me and makes me a better, more empathetic person. With higher doses in a so-called bad trip, it’s sometimes been just extremely confusing and not at all fun, to the extent that I’d forget my own name or what I’ve taken and basically just all memories. It’s very frustrating to be in that state, constantly trying not to fly away but not able to ground yourself. It’s a little disturbing, but not horrific. I think the reason for this is that I am afraid to lose my ego, or die, and I would actually benefit from a slightly higher dose so I'm unable to resist. With really high doses though, it’s been a truly beautiful, enlightening experience. I still think of it sometimes. It’s very difficult to really explain in words, but it feels like kind of extreme empathy with all life. Buddhists would call it going egoless. I just felt very at peace: we all live, we all die, and it’s all okay. I’m not particularly religious or spiritual at all but that experience really changed me. It feels like life is in all these different forms, and you just happen to be one particular variation of it, but you could easily be any other living thing, so you just feel love and empathy for all life. And you know it’s finite and you’re not afraid of death. I would still attempt to avoid death, but I was just at peace with it if it was inevitable. Also, when you come back to reality you’re utterly, utterly convinced that you’ve experienced something profound, possibly, despite all your rationality, there’s a message form god inside this mushroom. It's so strange coming back, because you have to repiece together your life: "I am... a human... I live in a city called San Francisco... I am an engineer...". It’s almost like the mushroom is laughing at you: “good luck going back to your normal life now.” You’re left with “wow? That was that?!” It’s annoying honestly, because I’m not religious at all and I know it sounds crazy to even say that out loud. Of course, that feeling does slowly fade away like a distance dream or memory. I think in general mushrooms strip away your individual sense of self and zoom out your perspective, which is why with a small dose you consider your relationships and with a larger dose you can sometimes get scared because you lose your sense of self but you're still trying to cling on. But with an even larger dose (obviously it's not necessarily the dose, but it's a rough correlation) you blast through even further, and the distinction between you and everything else melts away, which is a truly profound spiritual experience. In all cases though, seeing fractals and cool stuff is very unimportant. A great story it reminds me of is “The Egg” by Andy Weir: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6fcK_fRYaI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6fcK_fRYaI