4 ms·

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". Thi

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

d0mdo0ss 6y ago
Hihi, weal, francli de inglish languej culd rader be used as a sujestion for combaining multipl langazhes intu ei hosh-posh of sorts. It did lid as rader tu dis steit of afers, after ol. Hau abaut starting wiz pronouncin leters as dei show and no more funi interpreteisions and pronunsiasions.
happy_path 6y ago
A phonological reform would be more appropiate than a spelling reform. English texts would keep the same and only the pronunciation would change.
- xxpor 6y ago
  Ha! First we'd have to agree on the existing phonology!
- DiggyJohnson 6y ago
  I cheerfully think that there is no way you're correct in this. The inertia of literature is nearly impossible to overcome; the nuance of phonology is impossible.
  - happy_path 6y ago
    There wasn't a change in Shakespeare's times? It would be like creating an English dialect with a different pronunciation. Easier than rewritting every text that exists today.
BossingAround 6y ago
Seeing that Ireland (and Malta) is the only English-speaking country in the EU right now, I'd say why bother...
dang 6y ago
Thanks to D-Coder, HN users (ok, a few, and now hopefully more) know that this joke originated in a 1946 issue of Astounding Science Fiction: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12108263 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12108263 https://www.angelfire.com/va3/timshenk/codes/meihem.html https://www.angelfire.com/va3/timshenk/codes/meihem.html http://www.isfdb.org/cgi-bin/title.cgi?57114 http://www.isfdb.org/cgi-bin/title.cgi?57114 It was traced in this 2002 article: https://web.archive.org/web/20050509113900/http://www.spellingsociety.org/journals/j31/satires.php https://web.archive.org/web/20050509113900/http://www.spelli... More here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23587507 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23587507 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24101779 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24101779
LargoLasskhyfv 6y ago
Very efficient reduction of overhead. Because 'äwwritzing kauntz in laadsch ämmauntz'.

d0mdo0ss 6y ago

Hihi, weal, francli de inglish languej culd rader be used as a sujestion for combaining multipl langazhes intu ei hosh-posh of sorts. It did lid as rader tu dis steit of afers, after ol. Hau abaut starting wiz pronouncin leters as dei show and no more funi interpreteisions and pronunsiasions.

happy_path 6y ago

A phonological reform would be more appropiate than a spelling reform. English texts would keep the same and only the pronunciation would change.

xxpor 6y ago
Ha! First we'd have to agree on the existing phonology!
DiggyJohnson 6y ago
I cheerfully think that there is no way you're correct in this. The inertia of literature is nearly impossible to overcome; the nuance of phonology is impossible.
- happy_path 6y ago
  There wasn't a change in Shakespeare's times? It would be like creating an English dialect with a different pronunciation. Easier than rewritting every text that exists today.

BossingAround 6y ago

Seeing that Ireland (and Malta) is the only English-speaking country in the EU right now, I'd say why bother...

dang 6y ago

Thanks to D-Coder, HN users (ok, a few, and now hopefully more) know that this joke originated in a 1946 issue of Astounding Science Fiction: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12108263 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12108263 https://www.angelfire.com/va3/timshenk/codes/meihem.html https://www.angelfire.com/va3/timshenk/codes/meihem.html http://www.isfdb.org/cgi-bin/title.cgi?57114 http://www.isfdb.org/cgi-bin/title.cgi?57114 It was traced in this 2002 article: https://web.archive.org/web/20050509113900/http://www.spellingsociety.org/journals/j31/satires.php https://web.archive.org/web/20050509113900/http://www.spelli... More here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23587507 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23587507 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24101779 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24101779

LargoLasskhyfv 6y ago

Very efficient reduction of overhead. Because 'äwwritzing kauntz in laadsch ämmauntz'.