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> "It was at this time that my then girlfriend's father heavily questioned if I had the ability to support his daughter, since I asked him right around the time

by belorn 6y ago

> "It was at this time that my then girlfriend's father heavily questioned if I had the ability to support his daughter, since I asked him right around the time OG2 was released." None of the culture in that sentence should still exist in 2015, and yet it treated as normal.

88 6y ago
What’s wrong with a parent wanting their son/daughter to be partnered with someone who is financially stable?
- incog_nit0 6y ago
  Flipped it - how's it read now? > It was at this time that my then boyfriend's father heavily questioned if I had the ability to support his son, since I asked him right around the time OG2 was released." I appreciate women bear the brunt of child rearing but I find this patriarchal attitude a bit of an anachronism too.
- hrktb 6y ago
  If it was his partner asking that question it would be different, their relationship is their problem. Coming from the parent it’s a another can of worm, including the very notion they have a say in their adult children’s basic life choices.
- belorn 6y ago
  The idea that parents decide to "give away" their daughters to a person they deem "suitable" comes from a very outdated culture of forced marriages. The second problematic culture aspect is the enforcement of gender role where men are expected to support the woman while she take care of the house and children. A father asking the guy if he is able to support his daughter is no less sexist than if he asked his daughter to quit her job when she got pregnant. Neither should be treated as normal coming from 5 years ago.
readflaggedcomm 6y ago
No culture is better than another.
- selfhoster11 6y ago
  That is demonstrably false. As long as we agree that a behaviour (like murder, for example) are absolutely not OK across the majority of human population, then cultures that display more of this behaviour are objectively worse.
  - f1refly 6y ago
    But what if the culture that thinks murder is okay in some cases dominates (think the us, japan, the united emirates etc)? In that case your own culture condemning it would be "objectively worse". If you measure objectivity by the major population, is it objective? I think not.
    - selfhoster11 6y ago
      Might doesn't make right on moral issues, unless you subscribe to moral relativism (which I don't). I specified "majority of humanity" there because majority consensus is the best proxy for the "morality" that we've got when looking purely at the material world.

by belorn 6y ago

88 6y ago

What’s wrong with a parent wanting their son/daughter to be partnered with someone who is financially stable?

incog_nit0 6y ago
Flipped it - how's it read now? > It was at this time that my then boyfriend's father heavily questioned if I had the ability to support his son, since I asked him right around the time OG2 was released." I appreciate women bear the brunt of child rearing but I find this patriarchal attitude a bit of an anachronism too.
hrktb 6y ago
If it was his partner asking that question it would be different, their relationship is their problem. Coming from the parent it’s a another can of worm, including the very notion they have a say in their adult children’s basic life choices.
belorn 6y ago
The idea that parents decide to "give away" their daughters to a person they deem "suitable" comes from a very outdated culture of forced marriages. The second problematic culture aspect is the enforcement of gender role where men are expected to support the woman while she take care of the house and children. A father asking the guy if he is able to support his daughter is no less sexist than if he asked his daughter to quit her job when she got pregnant. Neither should be treated as normal coming from 5 years ago.

readflaggedcomm 6y ago

No culture is better than another.

selfhoster11 6y ago
That is demonstrably false. As long as we agree that a behaviour (like murder, for example) are absolutely not OK across the majority of human population, then cultures that display more of this behaviour are objectively worse.
- f1refly 6y ago
  But what if the culture that thinks murder is okay in some cases dominates (think the us, japan, the united emirates etc)? In that case your own culture condemning it would be "objectively worse". If you measure objectivity by the major population, is it objective? I think not.
  - selfhoster11 6y ago
    Might doesn't make right on moral issues, unless you subscribe to moral relativism (which I don't). I specified "majority of humanity" there because majority consensus is the best proxy for the "morality" that we've got when looking purely at the material world.