Once you do that though (use a "true" intrusive implementation), you typically lose the "keep the list structure out of your data" aspect. std::list allows you

Once you do that though (use a "true" intrusive implementation), you typically lose the "keep the list structure out of your data" aspect. std::list allows you to avoid that, but carries its own limitations that embedding the list structures into the data does not. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying one is better or worse, just that containers like std::list aren't better for every use-case you might have compared to an intrusive implementation. Perhaps I just misunderstood your "have your cake in eat it too" remark though.