5 ms·

Am I the only one not very fond of this style of writing? It's the constant pauses and hiccups that I'm reading. Four paragraphs into it, and I still don't get

Am I the only one not very fond of this style of writing? It's the constant pauses and hiccups that I'm reading. Four paragraphs into it, and I still don't get a lot of information about what the author is trying to convey. In good essays, the first and last sentence in a paragraph are often enough to summarize the points. It helps set the context, and makes it much easier for the reader to make a mental map of the overall idea. In this article, its "hiccup" style of writing makes it much harder to build a mental map. You can't predict where it will go until you fully read the sentence. I usually enjoy reading most of PG essays. For this one, I don't enjoy reading it, and I stopped reading after paragraph 4.

whalesalad 6y ago
I normally have a very hard time reading his essays.
- ganafagol 6y ago
  Could you elaborate? FWIW, it's unclear what you mean. "Normally" as in "usually, but not this one" or "usually, and this one too"? Two exact opposites, and in just one sentence you managed to be maximally ambiguous. If done on purpose, that's a skill. But, without intending to offend, I think you just don't realize how hard simple writing actually is. I think he succeeded in it very well.
  - noobly 6y ago
    He usually has a hard time reading his essays. I don't think he was making a statement on this particular one.
  - travisjungroth 6y ago
    He used to have a hard time reading his essays. He still does. But he used to, too.
ozim 6y ago
I have to agree there was something off with the tempo of this essay. There were too many too short paragraphs.
hug 6y ago
> This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important. Gary Provost.
- zhte415 6y ago
  Excellent.
- solarmist 6y ago
  Do you have a source for this? I mean besides the author’s name. I’d love to read more about that. I’ve recently start taking my writing seriously, but I feel like this is what I’m tending towards if I’m not careful.
  - hug 6y ago
    It's from "100 Ways To Improve Your Writing", I believe. It's full of decent advice. Some bad. Some good. Some that is insightful in ways you might never have thought of by yourself. Good luck.
amirkdv 6y ago
It feels like this particular essay has much shorter sentences and much shorter paragraphs. And it does stick out uncomfortably to me a bit to me as well. On the general point of shorter sentences, I've found it to be an excellent first approximation rule. Follow it religiously if you're new to making your writing reader-friendly. Later on ... keep following it. But allow your discretion to override it sometimes.
bedobi 6y ago
Couldn't agree more - most pieces of writing, especially in the workplace, should optimally have a VERY brief summary introduction, and the complete version should be succinct, but not to the point of as if a robot wrote it because it's very jarring to read kind of like this
keithnz 6y ago
yes, I often find PGs essays too wordy and there's a lot of reading to be done for whatever point/s are being made. I often just start skimming to try and see if I can get to the meat of the essay. This one was actually quite short.
- keithnz 6y ago
  also, hot tip for HNers, though I'm pretty sure this is what a lot of us do anyways, just read the comments first, you tend to get a summary in a few lines on nearly everything that is posted on HN, then you can choose whether you actually want to read the the original post.

whalesalad 6y ago

I normally have a very hard time reading his essays.

ganafagol 6y ago
Could you elaborate? FWIW, it's unclear what you mean. "Normally" as in "usually, but not this one" or "usually, and this one too"? Two exact opposites, and in just one sentence you managed to be maximally ambiguous. If done on purpose, that's a skill. But, without intending to offend, I think you just don't realize how hard simple writing actually is. I think he succeeded in it very well.
- noobly 6y ago
  He usually has a hard time reading his essays. I don't think he was making a statement on this particular one.
- travisjungroth 6y ago
  He used to have a hard time reading his essays. He still does. But he used to, too.

ozim 6y ago

I have to agree there was something off with the tempo of this essay. There were too many too short paragraphs.

hug 6y ago

> This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important. Gary Provost.

zhte415 6y ago
Excellent.
solarmist 6y ago
Do you have a source for this? I mean besides the author’s name. I’d love to read more about that. I’ve recently start taking my writing seriously, but I feel like this is what I’m tending towards if I’m not careful.
- hug 6y ago
  It's from "100 Ways To Improve Your Writing", I believe. It's full of decent advice. Some bad. Some good. Some that is insightful in ways you might never have thought of by yourself. Good luck.

amirkdv 6y ago

It feels like this particular essay has much shorter sentences and much shorter paragraphs. And it does stick out uncomfortably to me a bit to me as well. On the general point of shorter sentences, I've found it to be an excellent first approximation rule. Follow it religiously if you're new to making your writing reader-friendly. Later on ... keep following it. But allow your discretion to override it sometimes.

bedobi 6y ago

Couldn't agree more - most pieces of writing, especially in the workplace, should optimally have a VERY brief summary introduction, and the complete version should be succinct, but not to the point of as if a robot wrote it because it's very jarring to read kind of like this

keithnz 6y ago

yes, I often find PGs essays too wordy and there's a lot of reading to be done for whatever point/s are being made. I often just start skimming to try and see if I can get to the meat of the essay. This one was actually quite short.

keithnz 6y ago
also, hot tip for HNers, though I'm pretty sure this is what a lot of us do anyways, just read the comments first, you tend to get a summary in a few lines on nearly everything that is posted on HN, then you can choose whether you actually want to read the the original post.