To clarify, I'm aware there's a difference in perspective occurring. You're approaching it more from if it's beneficial to the larger group. But Bob is supposed

To clarify, I'm aware there's a difference in perspective occurring. You're approaching it more from if it's beneficial to the larger group. But Bob is supposed to be my friend, if I can't trust him to keep something socially volatile like that a secret then he's failed me at an individual in a potentially harmful way. At an individual level it makes far more sense to bury Bob than say 'thanks for screwing me Bob'