5 ms·

Until you realize that some achievements are needed to have good relationships.

by throwaway98797 6y ago

elil17 6y ago
I'm curious what those would be
- lixtra 6y ago
  Some development of personality, kindness, etc. can be considered achievements.
  - wukerplank 6y ago
    Is that how achievements were defined in the The Harvard Adult Development Study?
- dimitrios1 6y ago
  Well for my circle of friends, a very big achievement is getting married and having at least one child (biological or adopted)
notriddle 6y ago
You don't need to be a millionaire to make friends.
- jedberg 6y ago
  No, but if you are, you'll certainly have a lot more time for them. Edit: If you want to. Being a millionaire gives you the chance to choose to spend time with friends instead of doing chores, because you can pay people to do chores.
  - SamBam 6y ago
    Really? I know a number of high-achieving people and they tend to spend a lot of their time achieving more. (Trust-fund kids, on the other hand, do have a lot of time for socializing. Unclear whether they are happier than others or not, though.)
    - jedberg 6y ago
      I didn't say they would spend more time with friends, just that they could.
  - DiggyJohnson 6y ago
    I hope this isn't too low effort of a comment, I ask sincerely: Do you really mean that? Do you find that those who achieve are the most likely to have "a lot more time" to focus on their interpersonal relationships? Beyond a modest income, my experiences do not line up. This is almost the same reason that I believe the 20th century conception of retirement is a bit silly.
    - jedberg 6y ago
      I really do mean that. It depends on the person. Having hung around the YC crowd for 15 years now, it turns out I have a lot of millionaire friends. Some can't stop working, but many have retired early. They spend their days lounging and lunching with friends who are also retired, and their evenings with their friends who still work during the day. Even the ones that are still working have plenty of time to spend with friends, because they hire people to do chores like cleaning and folding laundry, and then pay for takeout food to save time on cooking and dishes.
  - notriddle 6y ago
    A million is quite a bit higher than you need for that: https://money.com/ideal-income-study/ https://money.com/ideal-income-study/
    - jedberg 6y ago
      If you have many millions, you no longer need to work and can spend all of your time on friendships, if you so desire. If you have few million, you can pay people to do chores for you, so you have more time for friends, if you desire. That was my point -- that having millions gives you a lot of freedom to choose how you spend your time.
  - WhompingWindows 6y ago
    Actually, the richest members of society typically work longer hours. While that may not be true for their family and hangers-on, if your own personal goal is to have a lot of friends, being a millionaire is not the path, since CEO's and CFO's and the like spend a LOT more time than average workers on their profession.
    - jedberg 6y ago
      As I've said a few times below, they may choose to spend more time on their friends. Being a millionaire gives you that choice because you can pay people to do things that would normally take away time from your friends, like chores. It isn't a necessary conclusion.
- throwaway98797 6y ago
  Doesn’t need to be financial. I find that learning stuff and being able to do things improve my relationships dramatically. You got to have something to be able to give back.
goatinaboat 6y ago
Until you realize that some achievements are needed to have good relationships Achieving or accomplishing something is important, it's not so important what exactly, but if you never achieve or accomplish anything at all you will have difficulty forming relationships with quality people

Until you realize that some achievements are needed to have good relationships.

elil17 6y ago

I'm curious what those would be

lixtra 6y ago
Some development of personality, kindness, etc. can be considered achievements.
- wukerplank 6y ago
  Is that how achievements were defined in the The Harvard Adult Development Study?
dimitrios1 6y ago
Well for my circle of friends, a very big achievement is getting married and having at least one child (biological or adopted)

notriddle 6y ago

You don't need to be a millionaire to make friends.

jedberg 6y ago
No, but if you are, you'll certainly have a lot more time for them. Edit: If you want to. Being a millionaire gives you the chance to choose to spend time with friends instead of doing chores, because you can pay people to do chores.
- SamBam 6y ago
  Really? I know a number of high-achieving people and they tend to spend a lot of their time achieving more. (Trust-fund kids, on the other hand, do have a lot of time for socializing. Unclear whether they are happier than others or not, though.)
  - jedberg 6y ago
    I didn't say they would spend more time with friends, just that they could.
- DiggyJohnson 6y ago
  I hope this isn't too low effort of a comment, I ask sincerely: Do you really mean that? Do you find that those who achieve are the most likely to have "a lot more time" to focus on their interpersonal relationships? Beyond a modest income, my experiences do not line up. This is almost the same reason that I believe the 20th century conception of retirement is a bit silly.
  - jedberg 6y ago
    I really do mean that. It depends on the person. Having hung around the YC crowd for 15 years now, it turns out I have a lot of millionaire friends. Some can't stop working, but many have retired early. They spend their days lounging and lunching with friends who are also retired, and their evenings with their friends who still work during the day. Even the ones that are still working have plenty of time to spend with friends, because they hire people to do chores like cleaning and folding laundry, and then pay for takeout food to save time on cooking and dishes.
- notriddle 6y ago
  A million is quite a bit higher than you need for that: https://money.com/ideal-income-study/ https://money.com/ideal-income-study/
  - jedberg 6y ago
    If you have many millions, you no longer need to work and can spend all of your time on friendships, if you so desire. If you have few million, you can pay people to do chores for you, so you have more time for friends, if you desire. That was my point -- that having millions gives you a lot of freedom to choose how you spend your time.
- WhompingWindows 6y ago
  Actually, the richest members of society typically work longer hours. While that may not be true for their family and hangers-on, if your own personal goal is to have a lot of friends, being a millionaire is not the path, since CEO's and CFO's and the like spend a LOT more time than average workers on their profession.
  - jedberg 6y ago
    As I've said a few times below, they may choose to spend more time on their friends. Being a millionaire gives you that choice because you can pay people to do things that would normally take away time from your friends, like chores. It isn't a necessary conclusion.
throwaway98797 6y ago
Doesn’t need to be financial. I find that learning stuff and being able to do things improve my relationships dramatically. You got to have something to be able to give back.

goatinaboat 6y ago

Until you realize that some achievements are needed to have good relationships Achieving or accomplishing something is important, it's not so important what exactly, but if you never achieve or accomplish anything at all you will have difficulty forming relationships with quality people