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The big empirical evidence that those deathbed platitudes are right: The Harvard Adult Development Study. The results are clear: achievements (even for people w
by elil17 6y ago
The big empirical evidence that those deathbed platitudes are right: The Harvard Adult Development Study. The results are clear: achievements (even for people who achieve incredible, world changing things that most of us could never hope to come close to) aren't strongly correlated with happiness at any age. Good interpersonal relationships, in contrast, are the most powerful happiness determining factor.
- throwaway98797 6y agoUntil you realize that some achievements are needed to have good relationships.
- elil17 6y agoI'm curious what those would be
- lixtra 6y agoSome development of personality, kindness, etc. can be considered achievements.
- wukerplank 6y agoIs that how achievements were defined in the The Harvard Adult Development Study?
- dimitrios1 6y agoWell for my circle of friends, a very big achievement is getting married and having at least one child (biological or adopted)
- notriddle 6y agoYou don't need to be a millionaire to make friends.
- jedberg 6y agoNo, but if you are, you'll certainly have a lot more time for them. Edit: If you want to. Being a millionaire gives you the chance to choose to spend time with friends instead of doing chores, because you can pay people to do chores.
- SamBam 6y agoReally? I know a number of high-achieving people and they tend to spend a lot of their time achieving more. (Trust-fund kids, on the other hand, do have a lot of time for socializing. Unclear whether they are happier than others or not, though.)
- jedberg 6y agoI didn't say they would spend more time with friends, just that they could.
- DiggyJohnson 6y agoI hope this isn't too low effort of a comment, I ask sincerely: Do you really mean that? Do you find that those who achieve are the most likely to have "a lot more time" to focus on their interpersonal relationships? Beyond a modest income, my experiences do not line up. This is almost the same reason that I believe the 20th century conception of retirement is a bit silly.
- jedberg 6y agoI really do mean that. It depends on the person. Having hung around the YC crowd for 15 years now, it turns out I have a lot of millionaire friends. Some can't stop working, but many have retired early. They spend their days lounging and lunching with friends who are also retired, and their evenings with their friends who still work during the day. Even the ones that are still working have plenty of time to spend with friends, because they hire people to do chores like cleaning and folding laundry, and then pay for takeout food to save time on cooking and dishes.
- 6y ago
- goatinaboat 6y agoUntil you realize that some achievements are needed to have good relationships Achieving or accomplishing something is important, it's not so important what exactly, but if you never achieve or accomplish anything at all you will have difficulty forming relationships with quality people
- nonameiguess 6y agoIs happiness or achievement the actual point of life? I think a lot of high achievers know damn well they aren't ever going to be happy. Would someone like Michael Jordan who probably spent 90% of his time on the court totally pissed off at himself or his teammates or both and in utter misery after every loss give up the greatness if he could have been a mediocre but happy person?