This is a pretty lazy explanation of a problem, leaning on somewhat disparaging stereotypes like "nerds just want to nerd out" without even giving specific exam

This is a pretty lazy explanation of a problem, leaning on somewhat disparaging stereotypes like "nerds just want to nerd out" without even giving specific examples or looking at deeper reasons this might be happening. For starters, what context have you even experienced this in? From your description it sounds like both you and the programmer (or designer, as the case may be) are just doing this as a side project. Of course there's not going to be the incentive to follow-up and do the hard work of finding actual product-market fit if it was supposed to just be a fun learning experience from the beginning. Did you ever communicate with them what your expectations are, what the end goal is, how much of a time commitment you expect, and was the other person on the same page and equally invested in it? Also, why are you expecting the programmer to both figure out the nuances of the product and implement it? What is even your role in this, what do you bring to the table? It sounds to me like you did not communicate well or did not set expectations properly about this project, and now you're blaming the other person for doing a bad/lazy job.