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Social gatherings where people are there to meet others. You can flirt at other times but you need other people to be clearly interested in that behavior (I me

Social gatherings where people are there to meet others. You can flirt at other times but you need other people to be clearly interested in that behavior (I mean, that’s true at all times but let’s be real about context). For most people commenting here on HN, I don’t think they know when that time is or maybe the nuances of flirting that are safe.

temp8964 6y ago
Is professional conference included in "social gatherings"?
- pmiller2 6y ago
  I'd say generally not, unless there's some sort of social event in the evening.
- ceejayoz 6y ago
  If it's a place where you'd be wearing a conference/work badge, it's probably not the place to flirt. If you bump into someone at the hotel bar later, that's probably fine. Take "no" for an answer, don't be grabby, etc. all still apply.
falcolas 6y ago
> For most people commenting here on HN, I don’t think they know when that time is or maybe the nuances of flirting that are safe. And, like all activities, you learn the nuances and signals by trying, and failing. Except, failing can have disastrous consequences in this age that does not forget (Google, Facebook, et.al.), and does not forgive (zero tolerance policies, harsh CoC penalties, etc).
- ceejayoz 6y ago
  > Except, failing can have disastrous consequences in this age that does not forget (Google, Facebook, et.al.), and does not forgive (zero tolerance policies, harsh CoC penalties, etc). Avoid flirting places where there's a zero tolerance policy or CoC that forbids it, then. Avoid hitting on people at work (yours, theirs, ours; the cashier at the grocery store almost certainly doesn't want to be propositioned in a customer service context) and conferences. Bars don't have these. If you flirt and get turned down, it's not going on your permanent record unless you refuse to take "no" for an answer or you're assaulting/harassing.
  - falcolas 6y ago
    > Bars don't have these. People can and do take pictures of the 'offenders' at bars, gyms, even at the park, and post about how creepy they were on social media. Even if they aren't flirting, but just look silly or menacing or ugly or whatever. This might not be a legal permanent record, but it will be there for discovery permanently. Social Media's propensity to do facial recognition on posted pictures will only help with this 'discoverability' of undesirables.

temp8964 6y ago

Is professional conference included in "social gatherings"?

pmiller2 6y ago
I'd say generally not, unless there's some sort of social event in the evening.
ceejayoz 6y ago
If it's a place where you'd be wearing a conference/work badge, it's probably not the place to flirt. If you bump into someone at the hotel bar later, that's probably fine. Take "no" for an answer, don't be grabby, etc. all still apply.

falcolas 6y ago

> For most people commenting here on HN, I don’t think they know when that time is or maybe the nuances of flirting that are safe. And, like all activities, you learn the nuances and signals by trying, and failing. Except, failing can have disastrous consequences in this age that does not forget (Google, Facebook, et.al.), and does not forgive (zero tolerance policies, harsh CoC penalties, etc).

ceejayoz 6y ago
> Except, failing can have disastrous consequences in this age that does not forget (Google, Facebook, et.al.), and does not forgive (zero tolerance policies, harsh CoC penalties, etc). Avoid flirting places where there's a zero tolerance policy or CoC that forbids it, then. Avoid hitting on people at work (yours, theirs, ours; the cashier at the grocery store almost certainly doesn't want to be propositioned in a customer service context) and conferences. Bars don't have these. If you flirt and get turned down, it's not going on your permanent record unless you refuse to take "no" for an answer or you're assaulting/harassing.
- falcolas 6y ago
  > Bars don't have these. People can and do take pictures of the 'offenders' at bars, gyms, even at the park, and post about how creepy they were on social media. Even if they aren't flirting, but just look silly or menacing or ugly or whatever. This might not be a legal permanent record, but it will be there for discovery permanently. Social Media's propensity to do facial recognition on posted pictures will only help with this 'discoverability' of undesirables.