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I don't think that being a loving person requires you to be polyamorous. I think you can be sexually open and loving to one partner at a time, but accept that

I don't think that being a loving person requires you to be polyamorous. I think you can be sexually open and loving to one partner at a time, but accept that each individual partner may have an unknown time limit. This understanding that your relationships won't necessarily last forever doesn't require you to give up on emotions, nor to cheapen sex.

rbanffy 6y ago
> I don't think that being a loving person requires you to be polyamorous. Certainly not, but I'm pretty sure that, in order to be successfully polyamorous, one would need to be extremely loving and accepting.
- coldtea 6y ago
  >Certainly not, but I'm pretty sure that, in order to be successfully polyamorous, one would need to be extremely loving and accepting. If they were that loving, they would have sufficed with less-amorous... It's because they're not that loving to any single person (but instead all about the quick gratification) that they look to expand their variety...
  - forgotmypw17 6y ago
    with all due respect, have you ever talked with a poly person or known one?
    - coldtea 6y ago
      Yes. And all stories I know ended up badly.
      - rbanffy 6y ago
        Like I said, it's O(n!).
      - forgotmypw17 6y ago
        Just out of interest, how old were the people you spoke with? Personally, it took me over two decades of learning to make it work, and I agree that it's about O(n!) difficult. I've had several failures, but kept perservering, and it paid off, so anyone reading this who feels like they're definitely poly but afraid to start the journey, do it! FWIW, I've known I'm poly since before puberty, and it still was not easy. I think poly acceptance today is where gay acceptance was a couple decades ago, with most people being either dismissive of its validity, saying it's a bad idea in practice, and generally denying its right to exist. I think we're slowly moving forward, however.

rbanffy 6y ago

> I don't think that being a loving person requires you to be polyamorous. Certainly not, but I'm pretty sure that, in order to be successfully polyamorous, one would need to be extremely loving and accepting.

coldtea 6y ago
>Certainly not, but I'm pretty sure that, in order to be successfully polyamorous, one would need to be extremely loving and accepting. If they were that loving, they would have sufficed with less-amorous... It's because they're not that loving to any single person (but instead all about the quick gratification) that they look to expand their variety...
- forgotmypw17 6y ago
  with all due respect, have you ever talked with a poly person or known one?
  - coldtea 6y ago
    Yes. And all stories I know ended up badly.
    - rbanffy 6y ago
      Like I said, it's O(n!).
    - forgotmypw17 6y ago
      Just out of interest, how old were the people you spoke with? Personally, it took me over two decades of learning to make it work, and I agree that it's about O(n!) difficult. I've had several failures, but kept perservering, and it paid off, so anyone reading this who feels like they're definitely poly but afraid to start the journey, do it! FWIW, I've known I'm poly since before puberty, and it still was not easy. I think poly acceptance today is where gay acceptance was a couple decades ago, with most people being either dismissive of its validity, saying it's a bad idea in practice, and generally denying its right to exist. I think we're slowly moving forward, however.