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Talking has different functions; it's not just a mean to deliver a message. If we want to be technical, one could imagine small talk as the handshake (and/or t

Talking has different functions; it's not just a mean to deliver a message. If we want to be technical, one could imagine small talk as the handshake (and/or the keepalive) of human/social/emotional connection. I believe that people who display an aversion in line of principle to small talk, have difficulties to communicate with people in general.

DyslexicAtheist 6y ago
small talk is a whole spectrum depending on which society you live in. what is seen as supportive and caring in one group, may in other societies be read as a pathetic display of insecurity via compulsive constant reassurance that things are still OK. I have lived among both groups and one of the hardest things was/is the transition from one to the other (every couple of years - I move a lot). For sake of illustration here is how it effects me (slightly exaggerated for purpose of showing the contrast): When I live among "rude" continental Europeans (or Chinese/Koreans/Singaporeans) I'm outraged at my environment for not constantly being kind to strangers. And when I live in places dominated by "uppety" native-English expats or in English speaking countries the constant fake/inauthentic display of caring for each other makes my skin crawl. In my case I will always get sick quickly of whatever my current surrounding is and I start missing the other group. I personally think this is a generalization: > people who display an aversion in line of principle to small talk, have difficulties to communicate with people in general. Having grown up in a "rude" society I had to work hard to shed this behavior in order to thrive in my new surrounding. When switching back to my origins I end up resenting them for being vile, uncultured or "asocial". It took me a couple of decades and learning not to take either society/customs too personal. But to me it's always more emotional effort to ignore noise than it is to deal with the silence (or lack of manners).

DyslexicAtheist 6y ago

small talk is a whole spectrum depending on which society you live in. what is seen as supportive and caring in one group, may in other societies be read as a pathetic display of insecurity via compulsive constant reassurance that things are still OK. I have lived among both groups and one of the hardest things was/is the transition from one to the other (every couple of years - I move a lot). For sake of illustration here is how it effects me (slightly exaggerated for purpose of showing the contrast): When I live among "rude" continental Europeans (or Chinese/Koreans/Singaporeans) I'm outraged at my environment for not constantly being kind to strangers. And when I live in places dominated by "uppety" native-English expats or in English speaking countries the constant fake/inauthentic display of caring for each other makes my skin crawl. In my case I will always get sick quickly of whatever my current surrounding is and I start missing the other group. I personally think this is a generalization: > people who display an aversion in line of principle to small talk, have difficulties to communicate with people in general. Having grown up in a "rude" society I had to work hard to shed this behavior in order to thrive in my new surrounding. When switching back to my origins I end up resenting them for being vile, uncultured or "asocial". It took me a couple of decades and learning not to take either society/customs too personal. But to me it's always more emotional effort to ignore noise than it is to deal with the silence (or lack of manners).