4 ms·
While unfortunate, I think this just shows it's a little unwise to ask such a thing in today's, often xenophobic, society. I can't attribute malice to me being
by onei 6y ago
While unfortunate, I think this just shows it's a little unwise to ask such a thing in today's, often xenophobic, society. I can't attribute malice to me being asked that question, but I'm white, middle class and British, so I don't have any bad experiences to be wary of. Perhaps the person being asked was used to that kind of question having rascist undertones, perhaps the conversation prior to the question had affected the context, or perhaps your friend's tone was unintentionally abrasive. I'm not suggesting any of that is what happened, but it only takes a little to blow something out of proportion.
- sz4kerto 6y agoWhat people also don't talk about is how difficult is this for people with autism or Asperger's. So there are these rules about what to do and not do that are extremely complex, and people can't rely on their genuine intentions. The friend in the story is has some minor autistic traits while he's very intelligent and social 'otherwise'.
- Cthulhu_ 6y agoAnd being told they offended someone hits hard. They never got the memo that the question would be inappropriate, especially that given their own accent, they have been asked the exact same question. Why is there a rule all of a sudden? Why did I not get the memo? Why was it okay for others to ask me but not me someone else? Is there a special exception for this person? Is this a national culture thing? Can I fix this? I didn't mean to offend but I did! That's what would go on in my head. I don't think that's unreasonable. If you want people to conform to your social or cultural norms, you need to explain them first. And as is mentioned in the comments, assume good faith first. Educate instead of judge. Live and let live. Was there harm done by the question?