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No, it's not important to document all "microagressions". It sounds like it would be a nightmare to work with any person who thought or acted like that. The co

No, it's not important to document all "microagressions". It sounds like it would be a nightmare to work with any person who thought or acted like that. The concept of microagressions is backwards and pernicious. People are imperfect communicators. Getting offended at cryptic, imagined, or unintended slights is something that children and crazy people do. Adults, especially in the workplace, should be able to understand people have different ways of expressing themselves and that's not bad and you don't need to get HR involved. One example comes to mind - I had a coworker who frequently wrote "..." After messages on our instant messenger. Once I asked him a question and he just replied "..." And then 20 minutes later told me the answer. I read this as kind of a sarcastic thing, like an exasperated sigh that he'd have to explain something so obvious. I thought this guy was a real jerk. One day after he sent me a "..." I asked him what it meant. I said "What does '...' signify?" And the guy answered that it meant "More to follow" and I realized that he wasn't being a jerk, he was just trying to signal to me that he couldn't complete the answer at the moment, but would send more to follow. The point of my little story is that it just doesn't make sense to assume hostile motives. Lots of times people just communicate differently. Trying to document all the times you can interpret someone as being negative is just a bad idea in addition to being unfair and unproductive. It's also way more likely to make people genuinely aggressive and hostile towards you.

villasv 6y ago
You definition of microagression isn’t usual or useful. That’s why the rest of the argument made sense, but missed the point.
- ALittleLight 6y ago
  Google defines microagression as - "a statement, action, or incident regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial or ethnic minority" That is consistent with the definition I had in mind when I wrote my comment. I do think trying to document unintended offenses is a bad idea. The recipient of the microagression should instead learn not to dwell on minor slights, ignore them, and/or assume good intent instead. It seems very toxic to live as if the people you talk to are secretly hurting you. Better to think of them as nice people with different methods of communication until they prove otherwise.
  - villasv 6y ago
    As you can see in that definition, intent is irrelevant. Assuming good intent doesn’t change the fact it is regarded as an instance of discrimination. Might be unintentional, but it still is what is is. You keep saying “imaginary”, but microagression is about what has been said, not relevant to dwell on what the person might have wanted to mean. You keep coming back to this perceived paranoia: “as if people are secretly trying to hurt you”. This is not what this is about. This is people that got hurt, and no matter what others are trying, secretly or not, that hurt is better be documented. It doesn’t mean that someone ought to be punished right away for each comment deemed offensive by anyone. It’s just that these occurrences might be relevant later on and if they’re not documented, it’s gone. Documenting all offenses is a good idea for people who are at risk of finding themselves needing that later. And if you don’t think this happens frequently enough, you haven’t been paying attention.
    - lordloki 6y ago
      It sounds to me like people get hurt by microagressions because they have been taught that microagressions exist in the first place. That is once you have been convinced that microaggressions are a problem you will find them everywhere, since they are primarily a matter of interpretation. The entire concept then creates a negative environment where everyone feels they need to walk on eggshells all the time. This is more unhealthy to society and groups, than the microaggressions. It creates distrust, where assuming the best fosters trust. I see the entire concept of "microaggressions" as a downward spiral.
      - jfengel 6y ago
        Try looking at it in reverse: the stress you feel about "microaggressions" is similar to what people are complaining about. It's a minor thing, something you can live with individually, except that as a constant daily drumbeat. Microaggressions do exactly what you say: force people to feel as if they're walking on eggshells. And telling them "Oh, just shake it off" gets exactly the same response as if I told you to just shake off the accusations of microaggressions. The downward spiral already exists: people do exhibit a range of racist, sexist, etc. behavior on a spectrum every day, from outright asshole behavior to small, incidental assumptions about people that make them feel unwanted and singled out. It afflicts some people more than others. So you can take this as a thought experiment to see why it's a problem for them, and if "just ignore it" doesn't work for you, then maybe we can find a better answer.
randomcarbloke 6y ago
We already have politesse, "microagressions" is either misperception of impolitesse or a means to reframe perceived slights as far more malicious than they usually are.
itronitron 6y ago
Also, I hope people realize that as a workplace becomes more diverse the probability increases that one person will be offended by another person's casual turn of phrase. For example, the phrase 'went south' which means that something went badly might be deeply offensive to someone from the South.

villasv 6y ago

You definition of microagression isn’t usual or useful. That’s why the rest of the argument made sense, but missed the point.

ALittleLight 6y ago
Google defines microagression as - "a statement, action, or incident regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial or ethnic minority" That is consistent with the definition I had in mind when I wrote my comment. I do think trying to document unintended offenses is a bad idea. The recipient of the microagression should instead learn not to dwell on minor slights, ignore them, and/or assume good intent instead. It seems very toxic to live as if the people you talk to are secretly hurting you. Better to think of them as nice people with different methods of communication until they prove otherwise.
- villasv 6y ago
  As you can see in that definition, intent is irrelevant. Assuming good intent doesn’t change the fact it is regarded as an instance of discrimination. Might be unintentional, but it still is what is is. You keep saying “imaginary”, but microagression is about what has been said, not relevant to dwell on what the person might have wanted to mean. You keep coming back to this perceived paranoia: “as if people are secretly trying to hurt you”. This is not what this is about. This is people that got hurt, and no matter what others are trying, secretly or not, that hurt is better be documented. It doesn’t mean that someone ought to be punished right away for each comment deemed offensive by anyone. It’s just that these occurrences might be relevant later on and if they’re not documented, it’s gone. Documenting all offenses is a good idea for people who are at risk of finding themselves needing that later. And if you don’t think this happens frequently enough, you haven’t been paying attention.
  - lordloki 6y ago
    It sounds to me like people get hurt by microagressions because they have been taught that microagressions exist in the first place. That is once you have been convinced that microaggressions are a problem you will find them everywhere, since they are primarily a matter of interpretation. The entire concept then creates a negative environment where everyone feels they need to walk on eggshells all the time. This is more unhealthy to society and groups, than the microaggressions. It creates distrust, where assuming the best fosters trust. I see the entire concept of "microaggressions" as a downward spiral.
    - jfengel 6y ago
      Try looking at it in reverse: the stress you feel about "microaggressions" is similar to what people are complaining about. It's a minor thing, something you can live with individually, except that as a constant daily drumbeat. Microaggressions do exactly what you say: force people to feel as if they're walking on eggshells. And telling them "Oh, just shake it off" gets exactly the same response as if I told you to just shake off the accusations of microaggressions. The downward spiral already exists: people do exhibit a range of racist, sexist, etc. behavior on a spectrum every day, from outright asshole behavior to small, incidental assumptions about people that make them feel unwanted and singled out. It afflicts some people more than others. So you can take this as a thought experiment to see why it's a problem for them, and if "just ignore it" doesn't work for you, then maybe we can find a better answer.

randomcarbloke 6y ago

We already have politesse, "microagressions" is either misperception of impolitesse or a means to reframe perceived slights as far more malicious than they usually are.

itronitron 6y ago

Also, I hope people realize that as a workplace becomes more diverse the probability increases that one person will be offended by another person's casual turn of phrase. For example, the phrase 'went south' which means that something went badly might be deeply offensive to someone from the South.