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At this point I just don't discuss my personal life with anyone I work with or if I do it's to respond with an, "I'm doing great, thanks, and how are you?" No a

At this point I just don't discuss my personal life with anyone I work with or if I do it's to respond with an, "I'm doing great, thanks, and how are you?" No after-work drinks or else I'll have one for the sake of appearing affable. I'm a nice person but that any comment is potentially a landmine to me professionally, I'd just rather not expose myself like that. I can't count on anyone assuming good intent with me because everyone is so fired up on their crusader trains. I'll give a personal example: when I was a Buddhist renunciate--this was right at the beginning of cancel culture--someone I thought to be a close friend posted a negative experience she had with a man. It didn't stop there: she proceeded to blast all men for not immediately talking to every man they knew about their inherent violence. I commented that from the perspective of peace, her exhortation would result in more anger, more rage in the world, not less. My last name on Facebook at that time was my own creation, for the sake of my privacy. Immediately after my call for calm, I was doxxed and Facebook locked me out of my account until I could prove my last name. In hindsight, she did me a great favor as I never returned to Facebook, which I now see as poison to the human mind.

matsemann 6y ago
> At this point I just don't discuss my personal life with anyone I work with (...) I'm a nice person but that any comment is potentially a landmine to me professionally, I'd just rather not expose myself like that If potentially anything you say will blow up on you, you should consider if it's you that are in the wrong in how you conduct yourself and what's coming out of your mouth when you're not self censoring, or if everyone else is wrong. Edit: Never had such a down voted comment before. What are you all saying about your weekend to co-workers that makes people so offended?
- Hnrobert42 6y ago
  I upvoted you, but I think people who are downvoting you see your comment as a kind of victim-blaming. Namely that GP was the victim of a doxxing, and you are blaming them.
  - matsemann 6y ago
    Thanks, yeah I can see that. I was mainly commenting in response to the first two paragraphs, which left me a bit dumbfounded as to what everyone is so up in arms about. But I can also understand that if one has innocently been targeted for something, one will be extra cautious going forward.
- matheusmoreira 6y ago
  The fact is people cannot even share an article these days without fear of getting cancelled. Meanwhile you have women and other protected individuals literally posting things like "kill all men" and not only suffering zero consequences for it but also openly laughing at anybody who tries to call them out. I'm not exaggerating either. The exact situation I described above has happened. This is absolutely not OK.
  - matsemann 6y ago
    That sounds more like a comment meant to further divide people, than a realistic picture of what normally happens. You're also being intentionally vague. What kind of articles are being shared and people then getting "cancelled"? "Top 10 cute dog photos"? It's never the act of "merely sharing something" that gets people in trouble.
    - matheusmoreira 6y ago
      I was vague because it doesn't really matter. I could cite specific cases I observed throughout the years but I won't. Suffice it to say that people should be able to post stuff without fearing for their job security. Posting something absolutely should not result in some Twitter mob calling your employer and demanding that you be fired. It doesn't really matter to me what the person posted, nobody deserves to be harmed that way over an internet comment.
matheusmoreira 6y ago
> she proceeded to blast all men for not immediately talking to every man they knew about their inherent violence How is this not sexism?
jedimastert 6y ago
> I'm a nice person but that any comment is potentially a landmine to me professionally, I'd just rather not expose myself like that. The exact reason I don't have a Twitter
- Cthulhu_ 6y ago
  Smort; make the wrong remark or reply to the wrong person and you'll get dogpiled and hounded off the platform, possibly doxxed if you haven't taken steps to hide your identity and employer.
Hnrobert42 6y ago
It seems like you sort of poked the bear in your example. I had a similar experience with a woman I dated, but I don’t assume that because she was unreasonable that all people are similarly unreasonable. Life is about calculated risk, and in my estimation, the rewards of friendship outweigh the risks of alienation, especially if you open up incrementally and judiciously.
- lumberingjack 6y ago
  Yes but can't we reasonably imagine multiple human beings maybe even a large portion of the pop having only negative experiences with these exact same people? Can't talk about that it becomes racist. Like if every interaction one has had in there entire 45 year long life with black man was super negative you might start to think one way about all of those people.

matsemann 6y ago

> At this point I just don't discuss my personal life with anyone I work with (...) I'm a nice person but that any comment is potentially a landmine to me professionally, I'd just rather not expose myself like that If potentially anything you say will blow up on you, you should consider if it's you that are in the wrong in how you conduct yourself and what's coming out of your mouth when you're not self censoring, or if everyone else is wrong. Edit: Never had such a down voted comment before. What are you all saying about your weekend to co-workers that makes people so offended?

Hnrobert42 6y ago
I upvoted you, but I think people who are downvoting you see your comment as a kind of victim-blaming. Namely that GP was the victim of a doxxing, and you are blaming them.
- matsemann 6y ago
  Thanks, yeah I can see that. I was mainly commenting in response to the first two paragraphs, which left me a bit dumbfounded as to what everyone is so up in arms about. But I can also understand that if one has innocently been targeted for something, one will be extra cautious going forward.
matheusmoreira 6y ago
The fact is people cannot even share an article these days without fear of getting cancelled. Meanwhile you have women and other protected individuals literally posting things like "kill all men" and not only suffering zero consequences for it but also openly laughing at anybody who tries to call them out. I'm not exaggerating either. The exact situation I described above has happened. This is absolutely not OK.
- matsemann 6y ago
  That sounds more like a comment meant to further divide people, than a realistic picture of what normally happens. You're also being intentionally vague. What kind of articles are being shared and people then getting "cancelled"? "Top 10 cute dog photos"? It's never the act of "merely sharing something" that gets people in trouble.
  - matheusmoreira 6y ago
    I was vague because it doesn't really matter. I could cite specific cases I observed throughout the years but I won't. Suffice it to say that people should be able to post stuff without fearing for their job security. Posting something absolutely should not result in some Twitter mob calling your employer and demanding that you be fired. It doesn't really matter to me what the person posted, nobody deserves to be harmed that way over an internet comment.

matheusmoreira 6y ago

> she proceeded to blast all men for not immediately talking to every man they knew about their inherent violence How is this not sexism?

jedimastert 6y ago

> I'm a nice person but that any comment is potentially a landmine to me professionally, I'd just rather not expose myself like that. The exact reason I don't have a Twitter

Cthulhu_ 6y ago
Smort; make the wrong remark or reply to the wrong person and you'll get dogpiled and hounded off the platform, possibly doxxed if you haven't taken steps to hide your identity and employer.

Hnrobert42 6y ago

It seems like you sort of poked the bear in your example. I had a similar experience with a woman I dated, but I don’t assume that because she was unreasonable that all people are similarly unreasonable. Life is about calculated risk, and in my estimation, the rewards of friendship outweigh the risks of alienation, especially if you open up incrementally and judiciously.

lumberingjack 6y ago
Yes but can't we reasonably imagine multiple human beings maybe even a large portion of the pop having only negative experiences with these exact same people? Can't talk about that it becomes racist. Like if every interaction one has had in there entire 45 year long life with black man was super negative you might start to think one way about all of those people.