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By your standards a lot of very toxic people would get a pass by saying toxic stuff and they later saying _”I was just joking”_, thus ever denying their bad int
by soneca 6y ago
By your standards a lot of very toxic people would get a pass by saying toxic stuff and they later saying _”I was just joking”_, thus ever denying their bad intent. And that kind of toxic-then-deny people are very, very common in workplaces.
- ALittleLight 6y agoNo, I don't think so. I think it's perfectly appropriate to say stuff like "Hey, comments about my skin color are kind of uncomfortable for me. I'd prefer we not discuss it." If the person keeps talking about your skin color you can say - "Hey, remember we talked before about how I feel this is inappropriate?" And if they can't stop bringing it up it seems like you've ruled out good intent, or based on how they react when you bring it up you might rule out good intent. Assuming good intent at first doesn't mean you're infinitely gullible or a doormat for people to walk on. It just means not being a landmine that is going to try to get people in trouble.
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- tryonenow 6y agoOffense is taken, not given. Counterpoint: we are devolving into a hyper-sensitive society (or rather a small but vocal minority is imposing such a culture onto the rest of us) and bending over backwards to pretend we're all identical is going to lead to an resurgence of racism as people lose faith in our institutions, becoming aware that we are effectively being gaslit. >And that kind of toxic-then-deny people are very, very common in workplaces. Or perhaps you are looking for issues where they do not exist.
- zimbatm 6y agoIt's just as toxic as people seeing *ism everywhere. They create an atmosphere of suspicion that is not conducive to free thinking. Unfortunately in big groups you will have both of those types and HR is not good at managing finer-grained inter-personal issues. Without all of the context it's hard to judge group dynamics.