4 ms·

Tries to make massive judgemental claims, doesn't account for basics. How about relative social position of the 2 people to begin with, where is that taken int

Tries to make massive judgemental claims, doesn't account for basics. How about relative social position of the 2 people to begin with, where is that taken into account? CEO talking to a junior employee who do you think decides when the conversation ends and how long it's going to be? Entrepreneur pitching to a hotshot VC at a packed conference. Who decides when the conversation ends? Context, power dynamic and bunch of other things determine how long the conversation goes on. Keeping a conversation on or not is a social signal of interest - it means I am ready to give you my time (or not) - which itself is communication. There is more nuance than asking 2 parties if the conversation ended at the right time and then proclaiming, "People don't know when to stop talking".

jordan_curve 6y ago
Presumably the subjects in the study had no prior relationship so hierarchical structure shouldn’t have played a significant role.
leetcrew 6y ago
> CEO talking to a junior employee who do you think decides when the conversation ends and how long it's going to be? "glad we talked, but I ought to get back to {work task}." they can overrule you if they still have something important to say, but I haven't met an executive who objected to this one.
- dmingod666 6y ago
  True, but, there are only a limited number of specific things the junior can say and not upset the balance. Whereas the CEO can just casually pickup a call, break conversation and walk away.
notacoward 6y ago
It's extremely context-dependent in other ways as well. For example, I get this with my brother and used to get it with my mother on the phone but not otherwise. They just hate to hang up. And yes, it became truly comical on calls between the two of them. I get a similar thing in online chats with most people. I get it with my wife, in person, on certain topics but not otherwise. If she starts talking about COVID statistics, I know I'm stuck for at least ten minutes unless I'm willing to have her pissed at me the rest of the day for cutting it short. Topic, medium, relationship, and even external context all affect this. The question I would ask here is: why would we expect people to want to end a conversation at the same time? The article presents this as some sort of failed communication, but maybe an exact match is just naturally unlikely.

jordan_curve 6y ago

Presumably the subjects in the study had no prior relationship so hierarchical structure shouldn’t have played a significant role.

leetcrew 6y ago

> CEO talking to a junior employee who do you think decides when the conversation ends and how long it's going to be? "glad we talked, but I ought to get back to {work task}." they can overrule you if they still have something important to say, but I haven't met an executive who objected to this one.

dmingod666 6y ago
True, but, there are only a limited number of specific things the junior can say and not upset the balance. Whereas the CEO can just casually pickup a call, break conversation and walk away.

notacoward 6y ago

It's extremely context-dependent in other ways as well. For example, I get this with my brother and used to get it with my mother on the phone but not otherwise. They just hate to hang up. And yes, it became truly comical on calls between the two of them. I get a similar thing in online chats with most people. I get it with my wife, in person, on certain topics but not otherwise. If she starts talking about COVID statistics, I know I'm stuck for at least ten minutes unless I'm willing to have her pissed at me the rest of the day for cutting it short. Topic, medium, relationship, and even external context all affect this. The question I would ask here is: why would we expect people to want to end a conversation at the same time? The article presents this as some sort of failed communication, but maybe an exact match is just naturally unlikely.