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Personally I use escorts, it is not easy finding an independent, good looking, permissive, not-very-expensive girl but by my calculations that's a far more effi

Personally I use escorts, it is not easy finding an independent, good looking, permissive, not-very-expensive girl but by my calculations that's a far more efficient way of satisfying my inner-chimp until I want to get married and have kids. I do not want to participate in some mating ritual that involves two persons lying to each other in order to just relieve some sexual tension. In Romania I do not feel that generally girls are ok with no strings attached sex without this dishonest dance and even so, I couldn't probably get as attractive a girl as an escort. Maybe I could by investing a lot more time than I'm comfortable with just to satisfy a basic urge... but for 100$ I can have sex with girls of the same level of say Emma Stone that really know what they're doing. So if I make even 25$/h that's 4h of work for 1 sex session, which will take place entirely when I feel the desire for it. To find a similar (looking) girl that will have sex "for free" will probably take more than 10x more time and even then the actual sex might not be as good. Even if it is as good it will happen when the stars align and we both want it at the same time.

f154hfds 6y ago
I appreciate your honesty. For the last several years I have supported a charity that helps women to escape this cycle of oppression in Romania. I've heard some of their stories, how difficult life is after they've found a way out. All I can say is that victims abound despite appearances.
- anonll394e92 6y ago
  Thank you. I believe I have enough experience to tell if a girl is enjoying her time with me or not and go out of my way to make her feel good (I perform oral and am generally not defensive). When I say I look for 'permissive' girls I mean I look for girls that permit kissing and "sports fucking". I don't choke / slap / hair pull or whatever. If a girl gives signs that she doesn't enjoy sports-fucking I don't persist, finish quickly and simply never visit her again. I have heard my share of sad stories from them and I don't revisit those. Regardless of my participation or not in this trade I know the trade will go on, there will always be men who seek this kind of service so I appease my conscience by treating the girls well and not revisiting those that don't seem to genuinely enjoy my company. I simply can not believe one can act so well in front of me and on the side be forced to do this. I mean moaning is simple to fake but the 30 min of conversation of the 1h I pay for? Keeping a cheerful vibe while opressed is hard to do.
  - throway98752343 6y ago
    > Keeping a cheerful vibe while oppressed is hard to do. Millions of retail workers would disagree. And acting isn't even the oldest profession.
    - anonll394e92 6y ago
      There is no need for acting, a girl would have lots of visitors and make similar amounts of money even if she wasn't cheerful, probably make more if she's the fast-fuck type. You underestimate how horny some men are. One girl was telling me how it was 15 years ago.. men would line up in front of the apt building, go in, get a blowjob and a quick fuck for like 20min door-to-door, pay 25$ and leave. I don't know if she in particular didn't perform "girlfriend experience" type work or that's how they mostly were but trust me, there are more men who don't care about how happy the girl is and don't give a crap about her being cheerful or not.
  - DoreenMichele 6y ago
    I'm not suggesting you are doing anything morally wrong, but keep in mind that they may be faced with a situation where not only are they being pressured into this by specific people but there simply aren't good alternatives for them to make decent money. Men tend to make more money than women. If a woman has a child or children to care for, sex work or exotic dancing etc al may be her only really viable option. I will add that like with any industry, insiders will know some tricks and may have been coached on how to handle certain things. In the book Mayflower Madame, the escorts were explicitly told to act excited if a guy splurged at dinner and bought an entire bottle of champagne and not act like this was an everyday occurrence for them even though it might be the second or third time that day.
    - anonll394e92 6y ago
      There's a world of difference between the girls I'm talking about and the escorts who get booked for whole-night affairs and go to dinner with clients. Honestly I don't even know if there are any escorts like that in Romania. The few people that could afford them are relatively well known and going to dinner in an expensive restaurant would be seen by basically everybody which I assume is not desired by men of high status. They might book them at the hotel though and honestly for 1000$ a night or more I assume it is easy to act. However I pay 70$-100$, you think a girl would care enough to act for such little money? Even though it's Romania, most people that make money easily learn to not give a crap about money and are not generally motivated by money. Edit: also, I never tip, I only pay the advertised price.
oliv__ 6y ago
Not trying to insult but genuinely curious: how do you derive any kind of satisfaction (mental I guess) from this interaction? Don't you feel disgusted with yourself once it's over with? Why is just jacking off not a better option than this?
- deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
- anonll394e92 6y ago
  Why would I pay money to make myself feel disgusted? I am not a masochist. I derive great pleasure and satisfaction from this. My stress levels are kept well below my friends who are desperate to find girls and have sex but are disgusted by sex workers. I have much lower anxiety around women in general too and I am able to communicate with them normally without the overwhelming need for sex. I just believe that mouthwash and soap works. Been doing this for 5-6 years now and it only gets better as I get better at treating them better, being more relaxed which makes them more relaxed etc. > Why is just jacking off not a better option than this? Why are you watching videos in 720p+ instead of using magazines? It's just a higher resolution experience.
throwaway99292 6y ago
Hey I'm glad to see another fellow HNer with a similar mindset - I've actually had those same calculations as you and made similar choices. In fact I travel quite a bit and have basically tried escorts in at least 30+ countries (including Romania). I see a problem developing though where having so easily "hooked-up" with good looking women for money anywhere I am, even if I do get married at some point, I fear my urge to try someone new (and hence cheat on my partner) will be pretty strong after a while just because it's so easy and convenient to do so. I don't have a solution for this and this is also the reason I'm not able to get myself to commit to a serious relationship. Not sure if you've thought of this or experienced this issue.
- anonll394e92 6y ago
  > I fear my urge to try someone new (and hence cheat on my partner) will be pretty strong I am the kind of person that will stick with anything if I love it. Even with escorts if I find one that I really like and she really stands out I will go see her exclusively until things change. I won't feel the need for variety just for the sake of it but I know not everyone feels this way. I haven't tried this but there are people out there that build "harems" while being honest about it. If you truly can't live without variety and are confident in yourself you will find a girl that wants an open relationship or maybe you can find someone bisexual that can enjoy variety with you.
- throwaway72h9a 6y ago
  How do you prevent catching nasty STD's while trying out so many escorts? Like a lot of the infections like herpes, gonorrhea, Chlamydia and even herpes are spread through kissing and oral sex, so even condoms don't always save you. And a lot of these infections can be asymptomatic so a quick look at the girl also doesn't help. Have always wondered how people who follow lifestyle like you deal with this.
  - Uwqye2134trf 6y ago
    People can get sick after eating wrong food, due to chemical or bacterial contamination. Where do you think this is more likely to happen: in a restaurant with professional staff that feeds 100 people every day, or on a picnic without professional catering? I think escorts are safer than casual sex, their job is at stake.

f154hfds 6y ago

I appreciate your honesty. For the last several years I have supported a charity that helps women to escape this cycle of oppression in Romania. I've heard some of their stories, how difficult life is after they've found a way out. All I can say is that victims abound despite appearances.

anonll394e92 6y ago
Thank you. I believe I have enough experience to tell if a girl is enjoying her time with me or not and go out of my way to make her feel good (I perform oral and am generally not defensive). When I say I look for 'permissive' girls I mean I look for girls that permit kissing and "sports fucking". I don't choke / slap / hair pull or whatever. If a girl gives signs that she doesn't enjoy sports-fucking I don't persist, finish quickly and simply never visit her again. I have heard my share of sad stories from them and I don't revisit those. Regardless of my participation or not in this trade I know the trade will go on, there will always be men who seek this kind of service so I appease my conscience by treating the girls well and not revisiting those that don't seem to genuinely enjoy my company. I simply can not believe one can act so well in front of me and on the side be forced to do this. I mean moaning is simple to fake but the 30 min of conversation of the 1h I pay for? Keeping a cheerful vibe while opressed is hard to do.
- throway98752343 6y ago
  > Keeping a cheerful vibe while oppressed is hard to do. Millions of retail workers would disagree. And acting isn't even the oldest profession.
  - anonll394e92 6y ago
    There is no need for acting, a girl would have lots of visitors and make similar amounts of money even if she wasn't cheerful, probably make more if she's the fast-fuck type. You underestimate how horny some men are. One girl was telling me how it was 15 years ago.. men would line up in front of the apt building, go in, get a blowjob and a quick fuck for like 20min door-to-door, pay 25$ and leave. I don't know if she in particular didn't perform "girlfriend experience" type work or that's how they mostly were but trust me, there are more men who don't care about how happy the girl is and don't give a crap about her being cheerful or not.
- DoreenMichele 6y ago
  I'm not suggesting you are doing anything morally wrong, but keep in mind that they may be faced with a situation where not only are they being pressured into this by specific people but there simply aren't good alternatives for them to make decent money. Men tend to make more money than women. If a woman has a child or children to care for, sex work or exotic dancing etc al may be her only really viable option. I will add that like with any industry, insiders will know some tricks and may have been coached on how to handle certain things. In the book Mayflower Madame, the escorts were explicitly told to act excited if a guy splurged at dinner and bought an entire bottle of champagne and not act like this was an everyday occurrence for them even though it might be the second or third time that day.
  - anonll394e92 6y ago
    There's a world of difference between the girls I'm talking about and the escorts who get booked for whole-night affairs and go to dinner with clients. Honestly I don't even know if there are any escorts like that in Romania. The few people that could afford them are relatively well known and going to dinner in an expensive restaurant would be seen by basically everybody which I assume is not desired by men of high status. They might book them at the hotel though and honestly for 1000$ a night or more I assume it is easy to act. However I pay 70$-100$, you think a girl would care enough to act for such little money? Even though it's Romania, most people that make money easily learn to not give a crap about money and are not generally motivated by money. Edit: also, I never tip, I only pay the advertised price.

oliv__ 6y ago

Not trying to insult but genuinely curious: how do you derive any kind of satisfaction (mental I guess) from this interaction? Don't you feel disgusted with yourself once it's over with? Why is just jacking off not a better option than this?

deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
anonll394e92 6y ago
Why would I pay money to make myself feel disgusted? I am not a masochist. I derive great pleasure and satisfaction from this. My stress levels are kept well below my friends who are desperate to find girls and have sex but are disgusted by sex workers. I have much lower anxiety around women in general too and I am able to communicate with them normally without the overwhelming need for sex. I just believe that mouthwash and soap works. Been doing this for 5-6 years now and it only gets better as I get better at treating them better, being more relaxed which makes them more relaxed etc. > Why is just jacking off not a better option than this? Why are you watching videos in 720p+ instead of using magazines? It's just a higher resolution experience.

throwaway99292 6y ago

Hey I'm glad to see another fellow HNer with a similar mindset - I've actually had those same calculations as you and made similar choices. In fact I travel quite a bit and have basically tried escorts in at least 30+ countries (including Romania). I see a problem developing though where having so easily "hooked-up" with good looking women for money anywhere I am, even if I do get married at some point, I fear my urge to try someone new (and hence cheat on my partner) will be pretty strong after a while just because it's so easy and convenient to do so. I don't have a solution for this and this is also the reason I'm not able to get myself to commit to a serious relationship. Not sure if you've thought of this or experienced this issue.

anonll394e92 6y ago
> I fear my urge to try someone new (and hence cheat on my partner) will be pretty strong I am the kind of person that will stick with anything if I love it. Even with escorts if I find one that I really like and she really stands out I will go see her exclusively until things change. I won't feel the need for variety just for the sake of it but I know not everyone feels this way. I haven't tried this but there are people out there that build "harems" while being honest about it. If you truly can't live without variety and are confident in yourself you will find a girl that wants an open relationship or maybe you can find someone bisexual that can enjoy variety with you.
throwaway72h9a 6y ago
How do you prevent catching nasty STD's while trying out so many escorts? Like a lot of the infections like herpes, gonorrhea, Chlamydia and even herpes are spread through kissing and oral sex, so even condoms don't always save you. And a lot of these infections can be asymptomatic so a quick look at the girl also doesn't help. Have always wondered how people who follow lifestyle like you deal with this.
- Uwqye2134trf 6y ago
  People can get sick after eating wrong food, due to chemical or bacterial contamination. Where do you think this is more likely to happen: in a restaurant with professional staff that feeds 100 people every day, or on a picnic without professional catering? I think escorts are safer than casual sex, their job is at stake.