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Retribution, vengeance and holding grudges isn't how we're going to build a stronger society. I think we all need to practice forgiving the people, no matter ho

Retribution, vengeance and holding grudges isn't how we're going to build a stronger society. I think we all need to practice forgiving the people, no matter how awful they've been, are, or will be. Don't get me wrong, I'm enraged at the lunacy of some. But I don't think we're going to be better off in aggregate by insisting on payback.

sneak 6y ago
It has nothing to do with any of the things you listed, maybe you're projecting. It's not retribution to avoid someone, nor is it vengeful to shop somewhere else. I have for years had a big list of people, companies, and other organizations I wish to actively avoid. The pandemic just gave me higher resolution on the "undefined" set of humans and organizations. I already avoid racists, extreme partisans, assholes, anti-science types, people who are mean to waitstaff, people who don't read books, et c. Covid gave me a few more categories.
- throwawayboise 6y ago
  Sounds like a recipe to end up alone.
  - sneak 6y ago
    That hasn't been the case so far, and, in my experience, my overall quality of social interactions has gone up drastically since I adopted my current approach. Perhaps there are false positives; I am willing to take that risk for the immense benefits so far.
  - edgyquant 6y ago
    Everything they said sounded pretty reasonable to me, I also keep away from people who fall into all of those categories
- darkerside 6y ago
  The funny thing about burning bridges is that you don't know that you burned too many until it's too late.
vmception 6y ago
> Retribution, vengeance and holding grudges That's not the only utility for this. Understanding the networks of information flows over social media will allow for easier reintroduction of accurate concepts, using similar looking quacks and new language for people who prefer to believe quacks over any reputable institution. It can also be useful to get people to realize how consistently they are led on, as many of them forgot their prior theories and are just subscribed to random causes alongside their vegan, spiritual or political journey.
ummonk 6y ago
It doesn't have to be about retribution. It can also be a proxy for example for how seriously a restaurant is likely to take its food safety standards.
tremon 6y ago
Retribution, vengeance and holding grudges isn't how we're going to build a stronger society. On the contrary, spite definitely has a useful purpose in social structures. It strengthens the negative effect of unwanted behaviour.
- AYBABTME 6y ago
  In a simplistic world, I agree as long as the response is proportional and the other actor is rational. My preferred strategy to deal with unwanted behaviour is usually 'swift proportional reprisal followed by forgiveness'. However I don't think you can apply this nilly-willy in the real world. There's a bunch of nuance at play, and the other actors are usually not very rational, and not every fight is worth the cost of fighting it. And also, none of this works if you don't _forgive_ the other side. "An eye for an eye" is a crap strategy.

sneak 6y ago

It has nothing to do with any of the things you listed, maybe you're projecting. It's not retribution to avoid someone, nor is it vengeful to shop somewhere else. I have for years had a big list of people, companies, and other organizations I wish to actively avoid. The pandemic just gave me higher resolution on the "undefined" set of humans and organizations. I already avoid racists, extreme partisans, assholes, anti-science types, people who are mean to waitstaff, people who don't read books, et c. Covid gave me a few more categories.

throwawayboise 6y ago
Sounds like a recipe to end up alone.
- sneak 6y ago
  That hasn't been the case so far, and, in my experience, my overall quality of social interactions has gone up drastically since I adopted my current approach. Perhaps there are false positives; I am willing to take that risk for the immense benefits so far.
- edgyquant 6y ago
  Everything they said sounded pretty reasonable to me, I also keep away from people who fall into all of those categories
darkerside 6y ago
The funny thing about burning bridges is that you don't know that you burned too many until it's too late.

vmception 6y ago

> Retribution, vengeance and holding grudges That's not the only utility for this. Understanding the networks of information flows over social media will allow for easier reintroduction of accurate concepts, using similar looking quacks and new language for people who prefer to believe quacks over any reputable institution. It can also be useful to get people to realize how consistently they are led on, as many of them forgot their prior theories and are just subscribed to random causes alongside their vegan, spiritual or political journey.

ummonk 6y ago

It doesn't have to be about retribution. It can also be a proxy for example for how seriously a restaurant is likely to take its food safety standards.

tremon 6y ago

Retribution, vengeance and holding grudges isn't how we're going to build a stronger society. On the contrary, spite definitely has a useful purpose in social structures. It strengthens the negative effect of unwanted behaviour.

AYBABTME 6y ago
In a simplistic world, I agree as long as the response is proportional and the other actor is rational. My preferred strategy to deal with unwanted behaviour is usually 'swift proportional reprisal followed by forgiveness'. However I don't think you can apply this nilly-willy in the real world. There's a bunch of nuance at play, and the other actors are usually not very rational, and not every fight is worth the cost of fighting it. And also, none of this works if you don't _forgive_ the other side. "An eye for an eye" is a crap strategy.