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> raising kids [...] is a full-time job Here's a contrary (and possibly even more unpopular) thought: some say spending inordinate amounts of time on child rea
by lhorie 6y ago
> raising kids [...] is a full-time job
Here's a contrary (and possibly even more unpopular) thought: some say spending inordinate amounts of time on child rearing is "doing it wrong". Some groups (orthodox jewish, for example) will argue that many parents helicopter too much to compensate for a lack of educational focus due to not having a well-established ethics framework to guide them.
Part of that narrative is obviously to promote certain religious frameworks, but it has a grain of truth: religious communities will generally agree among themselves on what's "right" and "wrong", and collectively impart that as part of social life, through religious stories and metaphors, etc painting the "ruleset" in broad brushstrokes, and then relying on things like natural consequences for granular learning, such that one specific individual does not need to micromanage every single aspect of their children's behaviors.
Older european descent folks might find an interesting correlation between being able to stay out as kids and family religious history. Obviously, it doesn't need to be based on religion. Japan is an interesting example where it's fairly common for both parents to work while relying on a strong collaborative social fabric nurtured from early school years.
- kseifried 6y agoAnd that's great until you have a kid with special needs like autism. Some kids need parenting that involves a lot of direct hours being put in. Raising kids is not a "one size fits all" kind of deal.
- codyb 6y agoShould we plan for the special needs children though? I mean, certainly, reprioritizing when you have one makes a lot of sense, and we should as a society invest to make sure these children lead fulfilling lives. But... bringing up special needs kids seems a bit disingenuous as a point when they're, I believe, a small minority of all children no?
- Benjamin_Dobell 6y agoThere are a lot more people with "special needs" than people think. In Australia, the (reported) rate of Autism in the general population is 0.7%. That's pretty huge, over 170,000 people. That's Autism alone. My daughter for example has Type 1 Diabetes. It's much rarer than Autism. However, when you start adding all these up, it's significant.
- lhorie 6y agoI should probably qualify that I'm strictly talking about helicopter parenting (e.g. arguing with the daydreaming kid because they won't stick to a packed strict schedule). Special needs are, as the name says, special needs.
- ay 6y agoAny communities with a strong framework. Case in point: Soviet Union. Though arguably a strong collective ideology and a religion aren’t that far off from each other.