Literally anything except violence. Ice cream, drugs, videogames, books, prostitutes, getting in shape. This seems like joking but really almost anything is bet

Literally anything except violence. Ice cream, drugs, videogames, books, prostitutes, getting in shape. This seems like joking but really almost anything is better than dying when you don't need to. The darkest times I've had what helped me was procrastinating anything that couldn't be undone, it's always an option later, and just knowing that I didn't have to make that choice today actually really helped. But in your case if it's home life that's the problem and money that keeps you there, then step 1 is find a better paying job or adding a side hustle. Step 2 is to find a cheap place to live, probably a place that has like 8 roommates in a single house. Then once there pursue a skill-set that will let you significantly upgrade your economics, probably programming. Pursue fitness this whole time, because even if everything else in your life feels out of control you can at least control that one hour a day of working toward something, it will help. But before any of that, find help, anyone, call someone, call a hot-line, see a shrink, reach out to an old friend or friendly relative. I've been there before, keep going, it's worth it to keep going.