I was curious about "less praise", as it seemed counter-intuitive. > [As Americans,] one of the craziest things we do is praise children constantly.. I recorde

I was curious about "less praise", as it seemed counter-intuitive. > [As Americans,] one of the craziest things we do is praise children constantly.. I recorded myself to see how frequently I praised my little girl, Rosy, and I noticed that I would exaggeratedly react to even her smallest accomplishments. > [..if you look around the world and throughout human history..] Everywhere I went, I don’t know if I ever heard a parent praise a child. Yet these kids are incredibly self-sufficient, confident, and respectful — everything we want praise to do, these kids already have it, without the praise. > ..I decided to try. It’s not that there’s no feedback, but it’s much gentler feedback — parents will smile or nod if a child is doing something they want. I started doing that, and Rosy’s behavior really improved. A lot of the attention-seeking behavior went away. Not being a parent (yet) myself, it's hard to understand the emotional/psychological dynamics. I suppose it means that parents' praise is often counter-productive, and encourages children to expect such attention all the time - and, I guess, to misbehave in order to get it. --- Another interesting point in the interview is about how parents react when children misbehave. > Rosy started having a tantrum, and I was getting ready to yell at her to stop. But Elizabeth, our interpreter, came over to her and addressed her in the calmest voice. > Immediately, Rosy just stopped — when she was around that calmness, her whole body relaxed. I was like, Okay, I’m just doing this tantrum thing completely wrong. > ..Young children are..illogical, irrational beings who haven’t matured enough and haven’t acquired understanding or reason yet. So there’s no reason to get upset or argue back — if you do, you’re being just like the child. --- And this part about raising children with an extended family: > ..Young children are basically designed to be raised by a group of people, not just two.