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I just recently had my first at an age closer to 40 than 30. I think freezing your eggs and having kids later is not such a great idea. Sure, you can have the

I just recently had my first at an age closer to 40 than 30. I think freezing your eggs and having kids later is not such a great idea. Sure, you can have the kid well outside your prime or even use a surrogate. But that is just the beginning. Your child is not going to get the experience of being raised by a more youthful and energetic version of yourself . I think there is a lot to be said for that. I wish I had started 5 years sooner.

deleted 6y ago
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benlivengood 6y ago
One thing I noticed as I aged is that my emotional intelligence and resilience increased (as energy decreased) and I'm not sure which is more important for kids; generally what I've read is that so long as kids have food, shelter, some quality time with parents, and healthy interactions with other humans they generally turn out normal. It's fun to be able to do youthful things with kids but the kids can honestly do youthful stuff with anyone and grow from it. Definitely don't beat yourself up for not being younger; kids will always have more free time and energy than their parents (I had all my kids before 27) and the important thing is to help them find outlets for that energy that they really enjoy.
darrylb42 6y ago
I had kids in my mid-late 40s Certainly motivation to be healthy and get energy levels up. For women and the men who have kids with them the chances of twins goes up with age. Or at least that is what my wife found when search for a reason to blame me. :)
Baeocystin 6y ago
My Mom was well in her 40's when I was born, my Dad in his early 50's. I wouldn't trade the childhood I had with them for the world. By the time I came around, they were able to provide a wise, warm, stable and loving home in a way that even the best-intentioned younger folks wouldn't have known how to do. That I played fewer games of toss the ball or the like in exchange doesn't matter a whit. FWIW.
- hycaria 6y ago
  I really don’t feel the same. As a young adult you get to see your parents get very old very fast, and also when you get internships first job and such your parent has been in retirement for ten years and is clueless about the workforce. Also they’re too old to bother to be grand parents now. Also my old man globally did not give a shit and focus on his own aspirations while he still had free time in good health and financially prepare for his retirement rather than see and help his kid bloom as a young adult. And I can’t really blame him for it.
sct202 6y ago
I have older parents who had me at 40, and I wouldn't feel guilty over it if I were you. I didn't really realize how much older my parents were than a lot of other people's until I went to college.
- earthboundkid 6y ago
  Can't speak for the OP, but it's not a "guilt" thing for me. Just trying to understand the pros and cons from a personal and social level.
earthboundkid 6y ago
In the same boat. Another con of waiting is that many people I wish my children could meet (great grandparents, uncles, friends of family) have died. And of course I and my partner will be dead N years sooner than if I had children at age X - N, which means (at best) less time for grandchildren, or who knows.
Solvitieg 6y ago
Another downside is smaller multi-generational families. Children birthed to older parents are unlikely to have grandparents.

deleted 6y ago

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benlivengood 6y ago

One thing I noticed as I aged is that my emotional intelligence and resilience increased (as energy decreased) and I'm not sure which is more important for kids; generally what I've read is that so long as kids have food, shelter, some quality time with parents, and healthy interactions with other humans they generally turn out normal. It's fun to be able to do youthful things with kids but the kids can honestly do youthful stuff with anyone and grow from it. Definitely don't beat yourself up for not being younger; kids will always have more free time and energy than their parents (I had all my kids before 27) and the important thing is to help them find outlets for that energy that they really enjoy.

darrylb42 6y ago

I had kids in my mid-late 40s Certainly motivation to be healthy and get energy levels up. For women and the men who have kids with them the chances of twins goes up with age. Or at least that is what my wife found when search for a reason to blame me. :)

Baeocystin 6y ago

My Mom was well in her 40's when I was born, my Dad in his early 50's. I wouldn't trade the childhood I had with them for the world. By the time I came around, they were able to provide a wise, warm, stable and loving home in a way that even the best-intentioned younger folks wouldn't have known how to do. That I played fewer games of toss the ball or the like in exchange doesn't matter a whit. FWIW.

hycaria 6y ago
I really don’t feel the same. As a young adult you get to see your parents get very old very fast, and also when you get internships first job and such your parent has been in retirement for ten years and is clueless about the workforce. Also they’re too old to bother to be grand parents now. Also my old man globally did not give a shit and focus on his own aspirations while he still had free time in good health and financially prepare for his retirement rather than see and help his kid bloom as a young adult. And I can’t really blame him for it.

sct202 6y ago

I have older parents who had me at 40, and I wouldn't feel guilty over it if I were you. I didn't really realize how much older my parents were than a lot of other people's until I went to college.

earthboundkid 6y ago
Can't speak for the OP, but it's not a "guilt" thing for me. Just trying to understand the pros and cons from a personal and social level.

earthboundkid 6y ago

In the same boat. Another con of waiting is that many people I wish my children could meet (great grandparents, uncles, friends of family) have died. And of course I and my partner will be dead N years sooner than if I had children at age X - N, which means (at best) less time for grandchildren, or who knows.

Solvitieg 6y ago

Another downside is smaller multi-generational families. Children birthed to older parents are unlikely to have grandparents.