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The part about it being easier if you're looking for a life partner is not true in my experience since most young women on dating apps will just assume that any

by kar5pt 6y ago

The part about it being easier if you're looking for a life partner is not true in my experience since most young women on dating apps will just assume that any man on there just wants sex and is lying if he says otherwise. The other part which I forgot to mention is that social capital has been declining since the 60's (see the book Bowling Alone), so it's become harder to meet someone off of dating apps. The institutions which used to facilitate finding partners are no longer there so apps are becoming the only option.

AnIdiotOnTheNet 6y ago
> The part about it being easier if you're looking for a life partner is not true in my experience since most young women on dating apps will just assume that any man on there just wants sex and is lying if he says otherwise. Maybe this didn't come across well, but I specifically don't recommend using dating apps ever. Meeting someone in real life that fits those criteria is a matter of being places where people are that you're likely to get along with, and then, you know, getting to know at least one well enough to start dating them. It's not easy exactly but it is a heck of a lot more likely you'll find someone that way than trolling an eyeball-farming simulacrum of human interaction.
- kar5pt 6y ago
  I agree but that's becoming harder as social capital deteriorates. For example, I've tried joining hobby groups and they're usually overwelming older people and/or male. You could say, "just try different hobbies" but that would just be me pretending to like things that I don't to get laid, which is kind of sleazy. This is not a problem that can be solved on the individual level. We need networks that can facilitate forming social connections. And that (in my opinion) is a sociological project.
- PurpleFoxy 6y ago
  I know this doesn’t apply to most, but as a gay person, I think apps are probably the easiest way to find someone since you can’t just hang around places and try to meet people.
  - jjj1232 6y ago
    I mostly agree, but that’s not always been the case, and it’s something we can change! The US has become more atomized in the last 40 or so years (by design). We need more public spaces, community organizations, and general in-person connection (post-pandemic obv) to solve it.

by kar5pt 6y ago

AnIdiotOnTheNet 6y ago

> The part about it being easier if you're looking for a life partner is not true in my experience since most young women on dating apps will just assume that any man on there just wants sex and is lying if he says otherwise. Maybe this didn't come across well, but I specifically don't recommend using dating apps ever. Meeting someone in real life that fits those criteria is a matter of being places where people are that you're likely to get along with, and then, you know, getting to know at least one well enough to start dating them. It's not easy exactly but it is a heck of a lot more likely you'll find someone that way than trolling an eyeball-farming simulacrum of human interaction.

kar5pt 6y ago
I agree but that's becoming harder as social capital deteriorates. For example, I've tried joining hobby groups and they're usually overwelming older people and/or male. You could say, "just try different hobbies" but that would just be me pretending to like things that I don't to get laid, which is kind of sleazy. This is not a problem that can be solved on the individual level. We need networks that can facilitate forming social connections. And that (in my opinion) is a sociological project.
PurpleFoxy 6y ago
I know this doesn’t apply to most, but as a gay person, I think apps are probably the easiest way to find someone since you can’t just hang around places and try to meet people.
- jjj1232 6y ago
  I mostly agree, but that’s not always been the case, and it’s something we can change! The US has become more atomized in the last 40 or so years (by design). We need more public spaces, community organizations, and general in-person connection (post-pandemic obv) to solve it.