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This is, frankly, paranoid delusional madness. These are not “red flags”. How do you expect to function in this world when you are that afraid of someone commun

This is, frankly, paranoid delusional madness. These are not “red flags”. How do you expect to function in this world when you are that afraid of someone communicating basic information in a completely non-threatening way? Have you considered that maybe it’s you who has some things to work on, rather than the other person?

klmadfejno 6y ago
Sorry I didn't really specify. By red flags, I mean, an indicator that he comes off to other people as a huge asshole but doesn't realize it. It seems like he is likely to regularly make people uncomfortable and then not notice, or out of self-righteousness, intentionally ignore, obvious social cues that a normal person would respond to. He says his girlfriend suggested he was a high functioning Aspie. It sounds like she's right. I think I'm a high functioning Aspie. Learning not to do exactly this kind of shit was something I needed to do manually. I don't feel he's done that.
- NikolaeVarius 6y ago
  What. Reading this comment and several others, assholes has been changed to "people I dont like". There was nothing assholish or wrong that he did. He gave a answer that is considered "wrong" by the woke and thats it. How the hell is anything that he said asshole-ish?
  - klmadfejno 6y ago
    > So, yeah, I can be an asshole. snark aside. Being perceived as an asshole is undoubtedly subjective. It's going to happen if you don't take care to try and be aware of your audience. Later he says: > I’m empathic about suffering but I also very much misread audiences So we've got a guy who acknowledges he can be an asshole, and acknowledges that he is very bad at reading audiences, and who gives several examples of upsetting people with technical arguments. That is why I think he comes off to others as an asshole. This is a common problem for aspies, much like blaming thoughtless comments that offend people on aspergers (sp?).
    - CryptoPunk 6y ago
      Misreading an audience is not really what characterizes an asshole. An asshole is apathetic about suffering, which he explicitly says he's not. Perceiving the subject as exhibiting red flags or being an asshole is really a crude/tone-deaf reading of the situation.
      - klmadfejno 6y ago
        Misreading an audience is a classic trait that leads to being seen as an asshole. Aspies regularly discuss how their inability to read audiences make them come across as rude, insensitive jerks.
- dnissley 6y ago
  > I think I'm a high functioning Aspie. Learning not to do exactly this kind of shit was something I needed to do manually. I don't feel he's done that. Me too. I wouldn't want or expect the world to change to fit me. I understand well that there are natural consequences for the ways that we behave -- and after fumbling through them my whole life they even make a strange kind of sense. Gaining a particular reputation and having some people avoid you seems to lie within the realm of the reasonable. But the consequences in this case were not commensurate with the crimes. To have your coworkers gang up against you? And pass around a petition to get you fired? And use logic like "intentions don't matter"? Surely you see that this got completely out of hand. And the part that makes it just that much worse: Some of the people who lead the charge on this would not have had a leg to stand on just a handful of years ago, before their chosen political ideology was en vogue. And as soon as they do, this is how they use their power. To gut this person, this fellow prickly traveler of theirs. It's just depressing as hell.
  - fallingknife 6y ago
    The consequences aren't "natural." They are simply a consequence of the fact that there are more of them than there are of you, and they are brutal pack animals. You are right to not expect the world to change, but you must know that if the numbers were reversed it would be them who are "defective", not you.
- finnthehuman 6y ago
  >Learning not to do exactly this kind of shit was something I needed to do manually. I can slip back and forth between the cultural standards of my older brother's generation and mine depending on who the group is. I don't agree with all of either but I'm pretty damn good at fitting in either context. Only one of those subcultures have accused me of mental defectiveness for not unquestionably internalizing their standards through osmosis. It probably is a mental limitations that I don't read the norms of my brother's generation as easily I do my own. But that's not the one I'm accused of being too autistic to understand. The "you're mentally defective if you don't agree with my norms" line of reasoning is just schoolyard bullying to enforce conformity. Even if true.
- lawnchair_larry 6y ago
  Nobody getting caught up in this is an aspie, that’s gaslighting. Everyone is having these “is everyone else crazy or is it me?” moments lately because of how absurd these woke kids have become, and because people enable this bad behavior. You don’t suddenly acquire aspergers in your 40s or 50s when your same behavior caused no issue whatsoever just 5 years ago.
  - klmadfejno 6y ago
    The guy cites multiple individuals with negative opinions of him from many years ago.

klmadfejno 6y ago

Sorry I didn't really specify. By red flags, I mean, an indicator that he comes off to other people as a huge asshole but doesn't realize it. It seems like he is likely to regularly make people uncomfortable and then not notice, or out of self-righteousness, intentionally ignore, obvious social cues that a normal person would respond to. He says his girlfriend suggested he was a high functioning Aspie. It sounds like she's right. I think I'm a high functioning Aspie. Learning not to do exactly this kind of shit was something I needed to do manually. I don't feel he's done that.

NikolaeVarius 6y ago
What. Reading this comment and several others, assholes has been changed to "people I dont like". There was nothing assholish or wrong that he did. He gave a answer that is considered "wrong" by the woke and thats it. How the hell is anything that he said asshole-ish?
- klmadfejno 6y ago
  > So, yeah, I can be an asshole. snark aside. Being perceived as an asshole is undoubtedly subjective. It's going to happen if you don't take care to try and be aware of your audience. Later he says: > I’m empathic about suffering but I also very much misread audiences So we've got a guy who acknowledges he can be an asshole, and acknowledges that he is very bad at reading audiences, and who gives several examples of upsetting people with technical arguments. That is why I think he comes off to others as an asshole. This is a common problem for aspies, much like blaming thoughtless comments that offend people on aspergers (sp?).
  - CryptoPunk 6y ago
    Misreading an audience is not really what characterizes an asshole. An asshole is apathetic about suffering, which he explicitly says he's not. Perceiving the subject as exhibiting red flags or being an asshole is really a crude/tone-deaf reading of the situation.
    - klmadfejno 6y ago
      Misreading an audience is a classic trait that leads to being seen as an asshole. Aspies regularly discuss how their inability to read audiences make them come across as rude, insensitive jerks.
dnissley 6y ago
> I think I'm a high functioning Aspie. Learning not to do exactly this kind of shit was something I needed to do manually. I don't feel he's done that. Me too. I wouldn't want or expect the world to change to fit me. I understand well that there are natural consequences for the ways that we behave -- and after fumbling through them my whole life they even make a strange kind of sense. Gaining a particular reputation and having some people avoid you seems to lie within the realm of the reasonable. But the consequences in this case were not commensurate with the crimes. To have your coworkers gang up against you? And pass around a petition to get you fired? And use logic like "intentions don't matter"? Surely you see that this got completely out of hand. And the part that makes it just that much worse: Some of the people who lead the charge on this would not have had a leg to stand on just a handful of years ago, before their chosen political ideology was en vogue. And as soon as they do, this is how they use their power. To gut this person, this fellow prickly traveler of theirs. It's just depressing as hell.
- fallingknife 6y ago
  The consequences aren't "natural." They are simply a consequence of the fact that there are more of them than there are of you, and they are brutal pack animals. You are right to not expect the world to change, but you must know that if the numbers were reversed it would be them who are "defective", not you.
finnthehuman 6y ago
>Learning not to do exactly this kind of shit was something I needed to do manually. I can slip back and forth between the cultural standards of my older brother's generation and mine depending on who the group is. I don't agree with all of either but I'm pretty damn good at fitting in either context. Only one of those subcultures have accused me of mental defectiveness for not unquestionably internalizing their standards through osmosis. It probably is a mental limitations that I don't read the norms of my brother's generation as easily I do my own. But that's not the one I'm accused of being too autistic to understand. The "you're mentally defective if you don't agree with my norms" line of reasoning is just schoolyard bullying to enforce conformity. Even if true.
lawnchair_larry 6y ago
Nobody getting caught up in this is an aspie, that’s gaslighting. Everyone is having these “is everyone else crazy or is it me?” moments lately because of how absurd these woke kids have become, and because people enable this bad behavior. You don’t suddenly acquire aspergers in your 40s or 50s when your same behavior caused no issue whatsoever just 5 years ago.
- klmadfejno 6y ago
  The guy cites multiple individuals with negative opinions of him from many years ago.